Thursday, December 13, 2012

Pep Talk to Self

This morning, I woke up wearing the clothes I'd worn at work the day before.  I was sitting up, on the couch in my temporary apartment, with my laptop and notes in my lap, and a pen in my hand.  The timer on our billing software was still running.  I had a terrible headache and a stiff neck.

(I'm just glad I got to come home and--against my will, apparently--got some sleep.)

This is the sort of thing that would be tough at home.  I'd be missing the dogs or fuming about canceling a dance class.  I'd be wanting Ben to come visit, but worried I couldn't invite him because work was too busy.  But I'm here to work, to catch up, to grow my deal sheet and cram in as much drafting as I can.

Here, there are no distractions.  I don't even have to wash my own dishes--the housekeeper, who comes two times a week as part of the serviced apartment contract, does that.  Seriously, you guys, it's a bizarre, one-dimensional existence.  I know (and hope!) it will never be like this again.

I gave up a year of my personal life to collect the bargaining chips I'll need to correct course and land in the right city and job to allow for a full, well-rounded life when I get home.  Odds are in my favor so far.  I'm getting exposure and experience and I'm learning.  It feels great to check agreement types off of my drafting to-do list (this week alone: shareholders agreement, share subscription agreement, general release, cause marketing vendor contract, and diligence memorandum).  I'm also getting "paid" more while I'm here (the firm provides the serviced apartment and a COLA), which is allowing me to prepare financially for settling down when I get back to the US.

With my birthday and Christmas coming up, I will need to read and re-read this post to keep myself from descending into that dark and ugly place of self-pity that seems to be just around the corner at any given time.  I'll be here for the holidays and my birthday.  I will be missing my family and friends and American holiday traditions.  It will be sad and lonely.  But I have got to keep it together and remember that every day I'm here, I'm gaining more control over my future.

No comments: