Wednesday, March 27, 2013

When Motherhood Never Happens

Somehow I missed this article when it made the rounds nearly a year ago, but I found it recently and... well, it's relevant. 

And once you fight tooth and nail to establish yourself with not just a job but a career, you're chastised: What, no kids?
Not having kids, having kids, letting life make the decision for you, regret, desire, the fucking Aniston headlines, it's a lot. They say the unexamined life is not worth living. I'd argue that on the other hand, the over-analyzed life is a suffocating wet blanket. Sometimes you have to just be.

How great would it be to have the time to take a break from worrying about it?


Metal said...

Coincidentally, I was thinking about this on my way back home today on the bus when an Indian girl next to me was dodging questions on marriage and motherhood from her mom on the phone. With the benefit of a common language, I was the only person on the bus who could understand her and I was wondering why in our culture there is so much social pressure on motherhood..during an adequate time window...may be this article explains it to some reason. That may be with the lack of foresight, what we are coerced into, is actually good for us in the long run. But where do you draw the line.
My room mate is in the same boat as Diaz, she is 40, single, no kids. While no one pesters her with any questions, every day she expresses regret and everyday I see her die a little.
Personally, the closest analogy I can draw is my stage of "fatherhood" with my dog Newton who was nothing short of a baby to me. While there were many things that scared me, especially the volatility in my own life, I took the plunge and that period of caring for him and watching him grow has been the best period of my him away has left an indelible hole in my heart. I guess my point is that parenthood does not "happen", it is made to happen through our actions, instincts and through overcoming our fears....
.....On a side note, I think guys should not be allowed to make long rambling comments like these on a post sorely meant for women :O

Cecilia said...

I have a kid but i still love that quote about the overanalyzed life. that's my one beef with sheryl sandberg. sometimes i just want to live, not worry that i'm not reaching my max potential.