Sunday, February 11, 2018

On Getting Hit by a SUV while Crossing the Street

We have been hitting it hard at work. I have two buyouts closing any day now--one of which is a three step transaction, which means that it involves three closings. As of today, my billable hour pace is at 2,350/year.

(This is pretty unusual--over the last 7 years I've learned to expect January to be a very slow month.)

This is all to say that I've been staying at the office late to meet deal deadlines. Because our firm is cheap, we don't have Seamless and reimbursement for overtime meals is discouraged. This is how I found myself walking across the street to grab dinner on Wednesday night.

After eating, I walked back to the office. I was walking in the crosswalk under a signal telling pedestrians to walk. An SUV travelling down the same street turned left, struck me from behind, knocked me off my feet (clear out of my shoes) and up into the air and continued down the street without stopping. There were more than ten other cars at the intersection. No one stopped to provide witness information. No one stopped to check if I was okay.

I landed on back and hit my head. I had a concussion and am generally bruised and sore. The items that were in my purse at the time of the accident were busted to smithereens. Fortunately, I have no broken bones.

I filed a police report. The police are looking at surveillance camera footage to see if they can capture the license plate number of the driver that hit me. If they can, the driver will be ticketed for the collision and for leaving the scene of the accident without stopping. I'd also like to ask the driver's insurance company to reimburse my medical expenses.

I emailed the partner that I'm working with immediately to tell him about the accident and that my delivery of work product he was expecting that evening would be delayed. (Frankly, I also thought he might want to review any work I turned in in the immediate aftermath more closely since I had had a concussion.)

Those of you who work or have worked in a law firm environment will probably not be surprised to hear that folks seemed generally annoyed by the delay in the work and that no partner from my group stopped by my office the following day to see if I was doing okay.

The sheer lack of humanity is what bothers me most about this:

  • The lack of humanity of the driver. Accidents happen, but to make a conscious decision to run instead of stop after you have hit a pedestrian with your SUV is unforgivable.
  • The lack of humanity of the drivers of the ten or more other cars at the intersection. I know that everyone has their nose in their phones these days, but I am hard pressed to believe that not one of these drivers witnessed the incident.
  • The lack of humanity of my bosses. But for the firm (it's policies and the need to provide its clients with a high level of round the clock service), I would have never found myself in that intersection. It would have been nice for someone to stop by to check if I was okay. It would have been nicer if they could have asked if work could have been reallocated for one day to give me a chance to seek medical attention.

Monday, February 5, 2018

Egg Freezing: Transfer to Long-Term Storage

Just in time for the holidays, I received an invoice from my doctor's office: $1,000 to cyropreserve my eggs for the next year! I tweeted my surprise and immediately received a helpful reply pointing me towards another facility in town.

Transferring my eggs from my reproductive endocrinologist's short-term storage to long-term storage at the recommended facility saved me $830. (It turns out the recommended facility offers a promotional price to patients transferring materials out of my doctor's office.)

To effect the transfer, I completed and submitted paperwork to both facilities. The paperwork included a notarized statement regarding my intentions for the use (or non-use) of my eggs for procreation after my death and granting ownership of my stored eggs to a designee. Wills and trusts professors, I can't even begin to imagine the exam questions you could dream up on these facts.

A couple weeks later, I received a letter from the recommended facility confirming receipt of my eggs, stating that they'll charge me $45 each time I remove containers from their facility, and noting the number of containers and eggs per container that they have stored under my name. Here's hoping they're safe and well-labeled.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Follow-up: Division of Household Responsibilities

Thank you for your thoughtful comments and reactions to my post last week.

One of the anonymous comments correctly identified that the straw that broke the camel's back was his decision to watch Bladerunner while I was painting the house (without so much as an offer to help). I'll cover for him while he's studying for finals, but I'm not going to be doing the lion's share of chores so that he can sit in front of the TV.

I had some time to cool off after I posted because I had to travel during the week. During that time, I alternately billed away like a good little associate and fumed over the issue. I was less emotional by the time I rolled into Austin for the weekend.

On Saturday morning, we sat down to identify the universe of chores that need to be done.  I invited him to pick the chores he would handle. We discussed and prepared a list.  I've yet to see any chores completed, so the jury is still out.

On a more positive note, he took the lead on planning dinner on Saturday night and participated in the cooking. This felt like a step in the right direction. With two people participating, each step of the process was much easier.

Prior to his move in day over Thanksgiving weekend, I had been living by myself since 2003.  I don't have much experience with sharing space with another person and I'm sure I'm part of the problem. Learning to be more flexible will take time and patience.

At the core of my frustration last week was my belief that if you care about another person, you do your part without the other person having to identify your part, instruct you as to the procedure for doing your part, and then follow up to remind you to do your part.


PS - In an anonymous comment, someone asked why I'm not asking him to pay rent at present. There are many reasons, but for the attorneys who are reading, I have some concerns about the transmutation of separate property. I'm not a family lawyer and need to take steps to understand this issue in greater detail. Until I do so, I wanted to create a clean factual record. (If this seems cold to you, I understand, but after a terrible prior relationship I made a promise to myself to be careful about these sorts of things.) Other reasons include, (i) helping him while he finishes his last semester (my stress level related to my financial situation was very high by the last semester of grad school, so I assumed he would value a break), (ii) demonstrating sensitivity to the disparity in our financial situations (friends who are aware of my salary advised that it would be "rude" for me to ask him to contribute rent), and (iii) paying it forward (it seems likely that in some point in the future, I might take a break from work while he continues).

PPS - In the back of mind throughout all of this is the advice I received from the managing partner of a very big Big Law firm that, in her view, the most important predictor of a female associate's success is whether she makes a good deal with her partner at home (with respect to allocation of household responsibilities). What do you think of this advice?