Deals die. They die for any number of reasons. Something egregious is uncovered during diligence. The parties can't come to an agreement on core terms and conditions. The seller is outbid. Market conditions change. Financing dries up. Whatever the cause, deals die.
Prior to that nasty turn of events, you've probably reviewed hundreds of documents, participated in diligence calls, and made charts to summarize the charts that summarized the memo that you wrote to summarize your research.... You've swapped endless emails with the investment bankers. You've billed a month of hours in less than two weeks. This is to say that you've missed a lot of dinners at home. You've cancelled plans with friends. You haven't gotten much sleep and probably look like hell. You may have even stayed at the office all night on Christmas Eve with a quick nap on the floor. (What, am I getting too personal?)
And then... pencils down. The deal dies.
One day, when I'm a mid-level associate, I will meet this news with grace. I envision powering down my laptop, scooping up my bag and coat, and proceeding to the nearest day spa for a glass of wine and massage. I'm just not there yet.
I'm still fixated on the fact that I spent the holidays away from my family for a deal that didn't happen. I get it, it's a sunk cost. I also get that we sometimes serve the client best by providing the client the information and analysis they need to conclude that the deal isn't worth doing. But it's just not as satisfying as swapping signature pages and finding the press release online the next morning.
It also makes me think twice about this job, what we're doing, and what we give up to do it.
[Y'all, I'm in need of a good yoga class--I need to let this go!]