Paragon2Pieces

Ballroom Dancing

2012-01-30T01:06:00.000-06:00

When I was still living in Beach City, I flirted (briefly) with the idea of getting into ballroom dancing. I found a studio in north county and attended a couple of classes that were terribly boring--we only learned two 8-counts of basic choreography in an hour. I just couldn't be bothered to spend the money and make the drive to the studio to accomplish so little.

After six months in LA, I decided to give ballroom dancing another try. I did some research (so many options here compared to Beach City!), chose a studio, and went in for an evaluation/sample class right before Christmas. I immediately liked the teacher--something of a feat since I've become more than a little difficult to please as a student after teaching a different form of dance for a number of years in my early 20s. He has a solid technical foundation, is receptive to my many questions, and is downright likable.

After the holidays, I was back at the studio and signing up for classes. The studio director gave me a pair of shoes on the spot to encourage me (I still think it was a bit of magic that he guessed my shoe size on sight!) and I have been taking a one-on-one class and as many group classes as possible each week since. I'm having fun and so happy that I gave ballroom dancing another try.

CONS:

This is an expensive hobby. One-on-one classes are pricey, but the studio policy is that a student taking a one-on-one class during a given week can attend group classes that week at no additional charge.

Group classes are hit or miss. The staffing changes on a week to week basis and very few of the other students are proficient dancers. I'm no Yulia Zagoruychenko (far from it!), but I know how to move and make pleasing lines after growing up in a dance studio. Many of my fellow students have never danced before, slowing the pace of the group class considerably. After less than a month of one-on-one classes, group classes are starting to feel like a waste of time.

Fitting in with the other girls my age is not coming naturally. I was hoping that I might meet some friends by attending the group classes. Instead, the girls my age are giving me the cold shoulder and acting very clique-ish. I'm not entirely sure what is behind this and am still sorting out how I've managed to put them off.

Only one student-lead my age that rotates. There are men my age that attend classes, but, with one exception, they attend with their fiancee (wedding dance lessons appear to provide the studio with a lot of business) and do not rotate partners during group classes. This is in line with what I expected, I just think class would be even more fun if there were some more leads attending.

PROS:

My teacher. It is so much fun to dance with someone who knows how to lead. Despite all the pas de deux under my belt, I've very rarely had the opportunity to social dance with a strong lead. I briefly danced with two great partners while in college, one socially at parties and the other as my partner in West Side Story, but that's it.

Confidence. After a couple of classes at the ballroom studio, I had the gumption to head over to the Edge for some other dance classes. The ballet and jazz classes that I'm taking there are helping me rebuild the core strength and flexibility that I once had.

Reconnecting with my body. It feels great to move like this again! It's also encouraged me to get to the gym more often. In just one month I've noticed an improvement in muscle tone and flexibility.

Getting out of downtown. The ballroom studio is 10 miles from home but in an entirely different sort of neighborhood. It's been great to escape downtown every once and a while to be around people who aren't lawyers.

Grandma is excited! Thanks to a philandering grandfather, I have many grandmothers. One, in particular, was a competitive ballroom dancer when she was my age. We don't have a close relationship, but she really lit up when I told her I was taking ballroom classes. Recently she gave me a bag of ballroom shoes--she stopped dancing decades ago but had saved a bag of her favorites that are, coincidentally, just my size. There will be a dancesport competition in her town this summer and I'm hoping I might participate in it so that she can come watch. If I'm not ready to participate, I'm going to get us tickets so we can go as spectators and she can reminisce about the days when she was a competitor.

I have a lot to learn. My ballet/jazz background is an advantage, but I'm starting from scratch so far as the ballroom figures are concerned. There is plenty of challenge here and I'm enjoying that.

Cooking for Two (2011 Edition)

2012-01-22T00:47:00.002-06:00

By the time graduation rolled around, I had my heart on learning to cook--like a grown up! I grew up in a family of very simple tastes. A typical dinner was a baked, unseasoned chicken breast, plain peas, and plain white rice. My Mom did many things exceptionally, but cooking was not something she enjoyed. Less time in the kitchen gave her more time to be involved in our learning and extra curricular activities.

But I'm not a mom or a wife. With all the "extra time" this gives me, I thought I could learn to do a little more in the kitchen. I got off to a rocky start. Recipes called for all sorts of ingredients I didn't have on hand. I ended up spending a lot of money, results were hit or miss, and the final product usually produced so many servings I would eat the same leftovers for a couple of weeks.

Enter America's Test Kitchen's Cooking for Two cookbook (2010 Edition). I received this cookbook as a Christmas gift over a year ago and it re-ignited my interest in learning to cook. Thorough instructions, recipes that have been tested to perfection, and small yields have helped me feel much more successful in the kitchen.

While reviewing another cookbook by America's Test Kitchen, a critic at the New York Times wrote that "if an intermediate cook follows the directions exactly, the results will be better than takeout or Mom's." This is a perfect description of my experience with Cooking for Two. It's been especially fun since I've collected some smaller baking dishes.

Some of my favorite recipes from the 2010 Edition (admittedly, there are many I still need to try):

Beef Pot Pie with Portobello Mushrooms and Sherry
Pan Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Sweet Potato and Spicy Maple Butter
Easy Quiche Lorraine
All-Season Peach Crisp
Skillet-Roasted Pear Halves
Lemon Pudding Cake

Easy Quiche Lorraine

This year, as a Christmas gift, I received the 2011 Edition of the cookbook. In the last few weeks, I've tried its recipes for Honey Roasted Cornish Game Hen, Zucchini, Tomato and Ricotta Tarts, and Key Lime Pie.

Zucchini, Tomato and Ricotta Tart

So far, I think I prefer the 2010 Edition, but the jury is still out!

One Year

2012-01-16T23:15:00.002-06:00

Since my last post, I've reached a milestone: I've completed one year at the firm. I haven't learned as much or worked on as many deals as I expected due to an absence of deal flow during my first six months in Beach City,* so I didn't make my hours and I've been held back from advancing with my salary class. My work is rarely intellectually challenging (perhaps we should blame this on my practice area). I've ended up in a completely different city than intended. This does not feel like success.

Gee, I'm cheery aren't I?

On the upside, I made it through the first year--something that hardly seemed likely when I started in Beach City and sat for months with nothing to do. I got to experience cross-border work and one helluva earthquake while working in our office in Tokyo. I've been blessed with a generous paycheck and benefits. The firm transferred me to an office where I have been included in some projects. In short, I survived.

What has changed now that I'm a second year associate? In practice, not much, since no new attorneys started with our group this year. But one important change is that I am now free to leave the firm without repaying my deferral and bar stipends. In addition, I'm now eligible for maternity leave (which would mean a lot to me if not for my spinster status) and firm matching of gifts to non-profit organizations of my choice--up until the one year mark, the firm only matches gifts to our law schools.

How has my personal life weathered the storm? Well... I survived. Especially since my move to LA, my life has felt empty and social interactions have been extremely limited. This makes me sad as I had been hoping for so much more at this point in my life. I have no one but myself to blame for this. Moving from a city where I had mapped out my life (right down to the awesome public school my future children would attend) to one where I still can't imagine a future seems to have given me an excuse to withdraw and withdraw I have. I have some very scary and disappointing moments when I wonder if this is as good as my life will get. Not gonna lie, still feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.

But in an effort to end the year on a positive note, I have recently gotten back to dancing (ballet/jazz and ballroom, something old and something new) and am enjoying getting out of the apartment and spending time at the two studios I am attending. More about this in another post!

My New Ballroom Shoes

*For the record, two deals from start to finish and two deals on an a help as needed but not as a legitimate member of the deal team basis.

Maxing out my 401(k) Contribution and Other Boring but Significant Steps Forward in 2011

2012-01-03T02:16:00.000-06:00

In 2011, my career did not get off to the roaring start that I had envisioned. Despite that, my job put me in a position to achieve certain financial goals and maintain health insurance and other benefits that gave me considerable peace of mind. This shouldn't be taken for granted; and, although it's pretty boring stuff, I'm going to jot down a few thoughts on the subject now so I can return to this post the next time I feel I didn't make any forward progress in 2011.

When I was a paralegal applying to law school, I frequently daydreamed about what it would be like to be an attorney at a comparable firm after law school--I would have health, dental, vision, and life insurance, max out my 401(k), and have a window with an office!!! These seemed like true luxuries at the time.

(Back then, I didn't have dental, vision or life insurance, I didn't qualify for the firm's 401(k) program, and while I was lucky to have an office, it was an interior office with no natural light.)

This year:

I enjoyed walking into the dentist office without worrying about the bill. All I had to concern myself with was taking care of my oral health. This was such a welcome change after my visits to the dentist during grad school, which were preceeded by a week's worth of worry and a month's worth of budgeting for a basic cleaning bill that averaged $200 (more if xrays were involved).

I bought new glasses and prescription sunglasses for the first time since 2006. Since I don't wear contacts (woe is me!), my glasses are subject to lots of abuse. Not only was it a welcome change to replace my bent/crooked frames, but my doctor discovered that I had been wearing a prescription that was too strong for my eyes.

I contributed $16,500 to my 401(k). Before grad school, I worked a second job to make sure that I would be able to scrape together enough money to contribute a considerably smaller sum to my IRA. It was such a good feeling to be able to make a larger pre-tax contribution to my future. This amount is just a drop in the bucket of money that will be required for retirement, but it makes me feel good that my contributions to my future are picking up momentum.

I was assigned to an office with a window. I've learned that keeping my blinds open leads to irritating monitor glare, but at least once a week I've attempted to stop, turn towards the window and enjoy the beach city or downtown sunsets from my desk.

While not everything went according to plan in 2011, some things did. I need to remember to be grateful that I'm living what was once just a daydream before grad school. Some time in the next month, I hope to write more about the financial progress that I was able to make in my first year out of school. Generally, I'll say that I met my goals, but progress feels slow.

12 Books in 2011

2012-01-02T13:58:00.000-06:00

I aimed to read 12 books in 2011. Modest (and slightly pathetic!), but I figured I would do plenty of reading at work and wouldn't spend too much time reading for pleasure this year. Here are the books I read for fun in 2011. Not fine literature, but still a great escape:

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Rework by Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson
The Blasphemer by Nigel Farndale
Once You're Lucky Twice You're Good - The Rebirth of Silicon Valley and the Rise of Web 2.0 by Sarah Lacy
Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh
The Solitude of Prime Numbers by Paolo Giordano
Bossypants by Tina Fey
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory
The White Queen by Philippa Gregory

In related news, I'm enjoying my Kindle. Here's to reading at least 12 books in 2012. Shouldn't be tough--I'm halfway through three books at the moment.

Let me know if you have any recommendations for my 2012 list. While I originally intended to curate a meaningful list, I ended up reading subject to my whims in 2011.

Happy New Year!

When Big Law Lives up to its Reputation (alternatively titled: "Bah Humbug")

2011-12-29T21:40:00.000-06:00

I was staffed on a deal that closed in the wee hours of December 22nd. In a perfect world, I would have spent Thursday on post-closing clean up and gone home at a decent hour to celebrate my birthday (belatedly). Instead, when I stepped out of the building and into the sunshine at 2pm--escaping the office for lunch--my Blackberry immediately directed me to turn right around like a good little soldier.

A client on another deal had demanded a late afternoon meeting on the 23rd. While I had only been tangentially involved in the transaction, the junior associate staffed on the deal had plans to hop on a plane for two weeks of vacation that evening. So, we met to review some documents, he took off on vacation, and I was in a meeting on the 23rd until 8pm listening to our client demand that we all work through the weekend.

Accordingly, I worked over Christmas (but was thankfully able to spend some time with my family thanks to remote access). Next, I left the relatives I only see once a year to drive back to the city to meet with a partner on Monday, technically an office holiday. Finally, I showed up to work on Tuesday to be told the client wanted us to stop working on the deal.

Don't get me wrong... I understand that I work in a client-centric profession. Our clients pay good money for our services. On top of that, it's not that this sort of thing is unheard of in Big Law. But it's still disappointing to skip special family time that happens only once a year to produce work product that (obviously) wasn't needed on a rush basis.

I can work on weekends and late at night. I can skip my own birthday celebration without feeling bummed out. But it felt terrible to drive away from family members on Christmas.

5:45am Conference Call

2011-12-22T09:03:00.001-06:00

We got an early start this morning with a closing call. I am not a morning person, but this is what happens when parties to the transaction are located in three time zones and two countries. As soon as I get confirmation that our filing was received by the Secretary of State I'll breathe a sigh of relief.

In related news, yesterday was my birthday. I was at the office for thirteen hours and ate a cold grilled cheese for dinner. While it wasn't my ideal birthday celebration by any means, it was probably a fitting end to the year. After twiddling my thumbs for my first six months at the firm, wishing for a substantive project to come across my desk, the powers that be delivered my first opportunity to draft a merger agreement, work directly with a partner and client, and see the deal lifecycle up close (up until now it's been a lot of diligence and random research projects) days before my one-year anniversary. I learned a lot and that counts for something!

The Holidays

2011-12-15T00:56:00.001-06:00

The last final exam of my first semester of law school took place on my birthday at 8am. I was worn out, feverish, and tore through the silly Legal Research & Writing exam. Finals had taken a lot out of me, but it wasn't something that some sleep, lunch at Salt Lick, a good workout and some under eye concealer couldn't fix--for the most part. Christmas was just a few days away and I hadn't listened to holiday music, made Christmas cookies, strung lights, seen the Nutcracker, or shopped for gifts for my family. Law school was a lump of coal in my stocking. After missing most of my favorite time of the year I relished the thought of life-after-law school when, surely, I would replace studying with celebrating the season.

Photo Credit: www.chicagostagereview.com

The first holiday season after graduating, December didn't find me studying or working for that matter. Thanks to a slow economy and a firm with a deferral policy, I was able to convince myself that belated bar trip was in order and spent most of my December south of the equator, kayaking around New Zealand. It was an awesome, once-in-a-lifetime trip. I managed to squeeze in some holiday shopping, but it still didn't feel like the holiday season I remembered from my childhood.

From my trip to NZ

This December, my first as an associate, I'm staffed on a deal that will sign and close the day after my birthday. I've been spending a lot of time at work, so I did all of my holiday shopping over the internet on Cyber Monday. My toes have been tapping to the Nutcracker score piped into the Starbucks on the ground floor of our building, but I didn't make it to the Music Center to see the Joffrey perform. I decided I couldn't justify a tree, decorations or even a batch of sugar cookies just for me. Sending out Christmas card seemed silly as I opened cards with wedding and baby photos (but I thought this was awesome). Following a bad habit developed while in law school, I started thinking that I'll do those special one day when I'm married, or when I have kids (a turn of phrase that has begun to take on a meaning similar to "when pigs fly").

A happy holiday season can happen whether you're in law school, far away from home, or working at a firm. I just have to make it happen and stop making excuses!

Put a Lid on It

2011-11-30T00:48:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving left me with an odd quantity of leftover pie dough. Instead of letting it sit in the freezer indefinitely, I put my leftover dough to work as the lid on a beef pot pie.

Thanks to the broth that bubbled through the vents of the pie shell, this doesn't look as nice as it tastes. On the inside, there's beef, portobello mushroom, carrots, onion, peas, garlic and some sherry for good measure. Making the broth/gravy wasn't a hassle because everything is done in the skillet--the only other dirty dishes produced were the utensils and cutting board.

The recipe is from the 2010 Cooking for Two book from America's Test Kitchen that I've mentioned in the past. As you can see, there's more than plenty here (that's a 10 inch skillet). Unfortunately, I don't think this is likely to make a great leftovers--I'm envisioning a soggy crust.

Update: Leftovers turned out to be delicious!

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T04:05:00.001-06:00

Little B's Thanksgiving gluttony:

We celebrated with family in a different part of Southern California. Lucky for Little B, she was able to come along and snuggle up with someone else's toys.

Annie Get Your Gun

2011-11-15T01:50:00.001-06:00

My Dad suggests that I take up target shooting. A gun range, he speculates, is a good place to meet guys.

He's serious.

I'm not sure where this idea came from. The man has never visited a range or owned a gun. Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.

My Review

2011-11-09T23:16:00.002-06:00

I had my annual review today.

Before

The meeting request was sent out yesterday afternoon, which was just as well because it limited the amount of time I would spend worrying about the meeting. When I arrived at work this morning, my written review was sitting on my office chair. I think this was done to give me some time to read the review in privacy and prepare any comments that I might have. The feedback I received regarding the quality of my work was positive without exception. However, I have been "reclassified," which means held back from progressing with my class to the next level because I wasn't assigned enough work during the evaluation period, which ran from January to August.

During

Two partners were scheduled to be present, but one had to skip out because of a rescheduled meeting. The partner who attended reiterated some of the points from my written evaluation and stressed that I shouldn't consider the reclassification as a reflection on the quality of my work, but a reflection on the amount of work that I was given. I was asked for comments on my development plan, which amounts to a paragraph drafted by the partners. My development plan includes two points. First, get staffed on more projects (elsewhere in my evaluation it was noted that I asked for work routinely). Second, integrate myself into the local legal community.

After

The notable consequence of my reclassification is that I won't move to the next level in the firm's lock-step compensation scheme (typically, associates receive a raise each year that they advance) and won't be bonus eligible (obviously). I'm pleased to have received positive feedback on my work. But I'm frustrated. I've asked for work, accepted an overseas assignment so I could get some more hours, and then transferred offices on the promise that I would get more work here. I did everything within my control to obtain work over the last year and did well on the assignments that I was given. In exchange, I have received precious few opportunities to practice law or build my skill set.

Getting Started

2011-11-06T13:56:00.000-06:00

At this time last year, I was consumed by thoughts of starting my new job.

What would my first project be like? I would wait three months for my first project, supporting a deal out of the firm's Tokyo office. The tasks I was assigned during this first deal included: printing, stapling, compiling documents in binders, delivering printed documents to conference rooms, diligence, and compiling a diligence memorandum.

Would the other attorneys act differently than they had while I was a summer associate? Yes. I joined a relatively small practice group with four partners and seven associates. One partner and one associate (whose office was two doors down from my own) only spoke to me once in the six months that I worked there. When the work runs dry, a practice group of seemingly great people can turn unpleasant fast.

Were there any active deals in the office? Rarely, and when one appeared, I would not be staffed on the deal because the partners decided work would go to the most senior associates first (the managing partner of the group made this policy explicit). After transferring offices, I would later learn that a key senior associate deemed giving any work to me a "waste of time" because (i) it was clear there wasn't enough work to sustain the number of associates in the group, (ii) it didn't make sense to spend time getting me involved in the small amount of work in the office when other associates had already been trained, and (iii) it was implied that I would either be let go or transferred because there simply wasn't enough work to go around.

Blissfully unaware of the workflow problem, I also worried myself over more trivial details:

What would I wear? After four years of wearing jeans to campus every day, I spent an entire afternoon re-evaluating the clothes in my closet. I now work in a practice group in which I am the only woman, and I worry whether I'm dressing too feminine or too young from time to time. I still don't feel like I have my work wardrobe figured out.

What supplies would I need to have on-hand in my desk drawer? Corporette has recently devoted an entire post to the subject and, as of this writing, 65 commenters have entered the fray.

What would I carry? My firm provides a standard-issue laptop bag. Its enormity and heft belies the surprisingly small amount of storage space. It's also outrageously masculine. Finding a sophisticated, but feminine laptop bag was no small task. Eventually, I decided to splurge on a sleek, but practical, bag from Lodis (in black). I'm happy with my choice. This bag has held up well. I expect that it will be around for years to come after learning that a senior associate in the litigation group has been carrying a different model from the same company for years.

My practice group doesn't have any first-year associates starting this fall (or this year), but I hope all the freshly minted associates get off to a great start, or at least a better start than I did!

My Second Half Marathon

2011-11-06T04:48:00.000-06:00

I had such a positive experience preparing for and running my first half marathon in Austin, that I included a second half marathon on my 30x30 list.

Unfortunately, this second half marathon wasn't all that I had hoped it would be.

A few months ago, I started a training program. But, when a deal at work started to require late nights and weekends in the office, I abandoned the plan. Realistically, there's no way I would have been able to fit in my long runs, but I could have kept up with three shorter runs per week. (After all, I stuck to my Austin training program through law school finals.) Those short runs would have been limited to the treadmill and there was no joy in that for me. So I let the runs slide and, pretty soon, I wasn't getting any exercise at all.

But I still ran--shuffled, really--and finished the 13.1 mile course about 20 minutes behind my Austin time.

There will be a third half marathon, done right. Because the real value of the half marathon isn't finishing the course. The real value is in sticking to the training schedule, getting fit, feeling great, sleeping well at night, and losing a bit of weight along the way.

* * *

In terms of work-life balance, the half marathon story is telling. Despite the frightening small amount of deal work that has come through the offices this year, I have found it difficult to make and stick to plans. I've allowed the firm to derail some major life plans (e.g., living in San Diego) and keep me from making others. Because I've gained such a small amount of work experience in return, the sacrifice seems fruitless.

I get that the economy is terrible and I should be incredibly grateful for my job. Believe me, it is thrilling to be able to pay my bills and save for retirement each month. I get a lot of satisfaction out of that. My family takes the grateful-for-my-job attitude a step further and believes that the paycheck is all that matters; and it is disappointing to realize that their hopes and dreams for me are so very limited.

What is missing from my life? Friendship. Happiness. Companionship. Intellectual challenge. Purpose at work. It has gotten so bad that I don't even have a vision for my future anymore. I have never felt so lonely or adrift.

There must be more to life than this.

How I Feel About Egg Donation, Six Years Later

2011-10-28T15:35:00.002-05:00

I donated my eggs six years ago and, because of that, there is now a lovely, busy, thriving family of four. My donation was unusual in that I know my recipients and have had the privilege of meeting and knowing their children. While it's a relationship that not all donors want, I feel blessed and privileged to know this family that I helped create.
To me, it's important to be available to my recipients chiefly because I believe they are entitled to my evolving family medical history. I also believe (somewhat controversially, I suppose) that the children are entitled to see and know me. I think those words are controversial because there is a worry that donors will form inappropriate attachments to the children that result from their donation.
Has my contact with my recipients fostered an inappropriate attachment to their children? I don't think so. I feel a strong connection to my recipients, who are wonderful parents and inspiring intellectual, emotional, and financial providers to their children. I do not feel an inherent emotional connection to their children, despite our genetic connection. Don't get me wrong, this isn't ambivalence. I care about them, cheer for their progress, and want them to thrive. I smile when I observe or hear about certain abilities or traits that they share with my family. But, even on the most base or visceral level, I do not feel that they are "mine." I do not feel like their parent, which is appropriate since I am not their social parent.
What role do I hope to play in their lives? I hope to play whatever role the children would like me to take on. Perhaps, as they grow, they will have no interest in knowing me or asking me questions. I am okay with that. Perhaps they will want to meet me out of curiosity and ask questions about my family, but not have ongoing contact. Perhaps they will view me as a close family friend. I would be thrilled if they chose the latter, but I am okay with any outcome. What is important to me is that nagging questions about their donor's identity, my identity, never detract from their loving family life.
I hope the children realize that they came about from a loving, cooperative effort between three people who want nothing more than for them to have a fulfilling life. I am not their parent, but I will go above and beyond, as I have from their beginning, to make sure that they are happy, successful kiddos. And, from all that I can see, they are well on their way.
Donating my eggs was one of the most powerful and impactful things I've done to create happiness and opportunity for others. I am grateful to have been given the chance.

The Kitchen

2011-10-15T03:20:00.001-05:00

Further to this post, where I wrote about cooking from America's Test Kitchen's Cooking for Two (2010), I've spent a some time in the kitchen since our big deal signed a few days ago. (A veritable "big deal" such that an attorney on the other side of the transaction was recognized as AmLaw's Dealmaker of the Week.)

This time, I chose the Polenta and Sausage Dinner with Mushrooms recipe. The name leaves out some important details: the sausage is sweet italian, tomato and onion are included, and the topping is finished with a goat cheese crumble. This qualifies as adventurous, seeing as I've never had polenta before. It tasted great right out of the oven--so I'll call it a success. But a few notes about this recipe:

First, I'd call this cooking for at least three, if not four. (I prefer a small portion and was able to stretch this to four dinners.)

Second, polenta doesn't keep well, which is important to remember since I store the second serving of these recipes for dinner the next day. The polenta turns to rubber although the mushroom, sausage, tomato and goat cheese topping makes for excellent leftovers.

Dessert was justified after my 24 hour stretch in the office, so I also picked something sweet: Peach Crisp. I love peaches in all forms, but there is something especially comforting about baked peaches. The recipe is simple and, if you use a food processor to chop your nuts (I used almonds), preparation moves very quickly. I've resolved to keep a small bag of frozen peaches in my freezer so that I can whip up some peach crisp the next time I have a bad day.

I am still processing my reactions to what it was like to work on this particular deal. My knee-jerk was to feel very concerned about heading further down this path. I spent more than 24-straight hours and two full weekends in the office while a dear college friend delivered a baby and my first love got married. What a juxtaposition! It's hard to keep up with life (or have a life) outside of the office when work demands are utterly unpredictable.

Playing Receptionist (or "What 1st Year Corporate Associates Do - Part II")

2011-10-12T05:01:00.000-05:00

Here's how I spent the last few days:

Ordering lunch and dinner for the deal team
Arranging for the building's air conditioning to remain on after hours
Fulfilling print requests
Getting admonished for using the "wrong" printer
Arranging for messenger pick-up
Providing lists of client and attorney names to building security and parking attendants
Validating parking
Greeting meeting attendees (a/k/a playing receptionist)

I'm the only 1st year in a practice group with secretaries that go home at 4pm, which provides some context for the above. (I'm also the only female in my practice group, which may or may not have something to do with this.) I understand that someone has to take on these types of chores and, as the junior person, that someone is me. But I'm still disappointed. If I'm going to answer my phone, roll out of bed, and hustle to the office at 2:30am, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to do at least one substantive thing during the subsequent 24 hours that I'm in the office.

I became a lawyer because I wanted to do intellectually challenging work, but I've yet to get an assignment that has been more substantive than anything that I did as a paralegal. My group doesn't have any new associates starting this fall, so I'll be low man on the totem pole for some time yet.

Tooth Fairy

2011-10-09T23:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I managed some free time away from the office thanks to the wonders of my Blackberry and Citrix. This means I went grocery shopping, washed the dishes, did a load of laundry, and gave my dogs a bath. (Today, we've been in the office. In fact, I'm still in the office--currently waiting for counsel for the other side of the deal to turn some documents.)

But back to the dogs. Little B (who is 7 years old) lost a tooth yesterday. It was one of her mandibular lateral incisors. And it fell out with its long root fully intact. I asked the dentist in the family what would explain the loss of a tooth with a fully intact root. He suggested gum disease.

I've spent a lot of time and money taking care of my dogs' teeth. They go in for a cleaning twice a year and I brush their teeth myself. But I'm afraid I haven't done enough. It made me sad to find that tiny tooth on the floor--a symbol that Little B is getting older.

The good news is that there are plenty of soft foods for Little B to eat as she loses her teeth and that she still acts like a happy little dog. Also, a reminder not to take her for granted doesn't hurt :)

What Do 1st Year Corporate Associates Do?

2011-10-03T00:02:00.003-05:00

For many law students, corporate practice is a bit of a mystery. I attribute this, at least in part, to the refusal of most law schools to recognize its existence. But even if you enroll in a bunch of transactional courses as a 2L or 3L, you don't get much exposure to the practical side of the practice.

(Quick aside: I've heard of a precious few professors who offer practical "Deals" courses that walk you through a transaction from start to finish. Sounds promising!)

So it's no surprise that there were lots of questions during recruiting about what a first-year corporate associate does all day.

While experiences vary, no matter which firm you're at or which market you're in you will likely be assigned to a diligence project at some point during your first year.

Diligence, the corporate associates' doc review. (Get excited!)

The process varies depending on whether you're representing the buy or sell side. Generally, it involves reviewing reps and warranties in the transaction document, reviewing piles of documents before you post them to the virtual data room (VDR) or after you pull them from the VDR (depending on whether you're buying or selling), and drafting (read: creating lists and charts) or reviewing disclosure schedules, all the while harassing the attorneys on the other side in one way or another (e.g., asking silly questions because you've been too lazy to read the Company's 10-K, asking for additional documents that cannot possibly be material by any stretch of the imagination, or taking your sweet time to respond to requests).

It's not glamorous, but we've all got to start somewhere. Speaking of starting somewhere. If you're about to start your first year as a corporate associate and are looking for something to whet your appetite, may I suggest:

What types of assignments have you worked on as a first-year?

After Law School I Will...

2011-09-28T22:33:00.001-05:00

When I was a law/business student, primarily during finals, I did a lot of daydreaming about the things I would do once I graduated and had free time and money. One of those things was to learn to cook. And to do it well.

At the beginning of the year, I received America's Test Kitchen Cooking for Two 2010 as a gift. I love this cookbook because it produces reliably delicious food in manageable portions but also includes lots of interesting text about how to do right by your kitchen and ingredients. I don't love the little sinking feeling I get looking at the "for Two" on the cover when I know I'm going to wrap the second portion up for tomorrow night's dinner. But that's another blog post....

Pros

If you can follow directions meticulously, the end result will be near restaurant quality every time. And if you get distracted by one to many glasses of wine during food prep, the cookbook even includes some passages that help you pinpoint where you went wrong. I also like the "Use it Up" sidebar that provides a quick recipe to help you make the most of unused portion of an ingredient from another recipe on the page (love this since I get frustrated by how often food goes to waste in my one-person household). Another key feature is the index, organized by ingredient type.

Cons

I imagine some folks don't like that certain recipes (desserts, mostly) call for the use of smaller, unusually-sized baking dishes, ramekins, or pans, but I've found that I can usually get by with what I have in my own kitchen.

Some of the recipes I've tried recently:

Pan-Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Sweet Potato and Spicy Maple Butter
Pan-Seared Steak with Red Wine Pan Sauce (from the iPhone app)
Classic Beef Chili
Lemon Pudding Cake
Individual Fallen Chocolate Cakes

The first-year associate schedule lends itself to frozen dinners, but I find that I have time to cook at least once a week. I'm going to try to pick out something new for each of the next few weeks just for fun. In particular, I want to try one of the "One Big Roast, Three Great Meals" series of recipes.

Student Loan Repayment Hero

2011-09-24T01:14:00.004-05:00

Student loans. It's a hot topic when the junior associates get together. Are you consolidating? Are you making extra payments? Are you buying a car or saving for down payment instead?

If you're in the extra payments camp, you might want to add No More Harvard Debt to your blogroll for inspiration. This guy aims to pay off more than $90k in student loans in just ten months. Also of interest to the Longhorns among us, he's located in Austin.

Hat tip to Well Heeled.

My Netflix Subscription

2011-09-21T02:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Netflix subscribers got a long-winded email from the company's CEO about the strategic impetus behind the changes they have and will put into place. This mess has HBR case study written all over it. Insert "Reed Hastings peered out his window into the Los Gatos sunshine and penned a hopeful missive to subscribers" along with the text of the email and, HBR case editor, your job is nearly done!

I see where NFLX is going with this. Yet I'm a loyal customer precisely because of the simplicity of it all. No driving to the rental store or kiosk. One website to visit. One payment each month. Now, things are getting complicated. Two payments. Two websites and, inevitably, two sets of marketing emails.

But things only get complicated if you keep up with both the streaming and DVD services. It seems to me that this is NFLX's point. I don't think they really want us to stay subscribed to both services. It's not a bad idea (streaming is the wave of the future and all that), but the execution hasn't been slick.

Any bets on whether NFLX will spin Qwikster off before Q goes the way of the dodo?

Romanticism

2011-09-18T02:02:00.002-05:00

Before I moved to Texas, my favorite taquitos came from Chronic Tacos on the Newport peninsula. I've since sampled many a taquito in Texas, always drawing comparisons to my favorites at Chronic Tacos and wondering when I would get back to Newport again. Tonight, after celebrating the first birthday of the son of one of my friends who had lived on the peninsula, I was feeling nostalgic and decided it was time to pick up some taquitos.

The woman who regularly took my order six years ago was there, explaining to me, yet again, that guacamole would be $1.50 extra. The folks in line are still mostly drunk and disorderly. But the taquitos weren't what I remembered. In fact, they seemed dry and flavorless without the jalapeno ranch I've become accustomed to.

As I put my keys in the ignition and got ready to head back to LA I thought about all the shenanigans that had happened here. This is where I had parked my car every weekend when I visited my boyfriend. This is where the mom at today's birthday boy had hopped behind the donut shop counter to help herself to a maple bar. This is where I'd run to buy a bag of ice when my boyfriend busted his forehead open. This is where we walked through the fast food drive-thru. This is where we bought slurpees before heading to the beach. This is where we hung out at the dive bar after watching a friend come _this close_ to winning the Miss America pageant. This is where I learned what it was like to realize that my car had been towed. This place makes me feel connected to those precious couple of years between college and law school when I decided it would be okay to not take myself too seriously and have a little fun. And that's why I remembered the taquitos tasting so damn good.

(For the record, you can't beat the taquitos at Doc's on South Congress in Austin, Texas.)

Summer of Love

2011-09-13T02:04:00.001-05:00

I spent the weekend in Napa and Sonoma for the wedding of a couple of friends. They met when we were sophomores at Stanford more than 10 years ago! With many overlapping circles of friends, the wedding was a mini-reunion and so much fun.

A mutual family friend introduced me to the bride via family Christmas card photograph before we met at Stanford (these were the days before Facebook).* We were assigned to the same freshman dorm and lived across the hall from one another sophomore year. A few months ago, we were sitting in an Italian restaurant in Tokyo the day after the earthquake talking about wedding planning and evacuating. Life is funny like that.

Her husband brought us all to tears with the best.vows.ever. He was a smart and talented guy from the moment we met him. But we were still teenagers then. And, sometimes, if you knew someone when they were young and a little bit foolish it's can be hard to shake that image, even after they have outgrown it. This is what was so nice about their wedding vows from my perspective. It was a transformative moment that allowed me to see him and them as the grown, loving and grounded couple that they've been for a long time.

Good people. Good families. Good friends. It was a happy time. Thus concludes the year in which four of seven drawmates were married. In a couple of weeks the first drawmate baby will be born!

On the day of the wedding, a couple of my drawmates and I took in this view while deck tasting at Bouchaine:

Those are roses! Not pictured: wine, cheese, almonds, P2P and friends.

*The mutual family friend had practiced medicine with my father for decades, was married to the bride's mother's best friend, and officiated the wedding over the weekend.

Things I think about during callback interviews...

2011-09-08T00:10:00.000-05:00

Q: Was the GPA cutoff 4.0 this year?

I kid, I kid. But, seriously, based on the transcripts I've seen, I'd peg it at 3.85.

Q: How many staff editor positions does a person really need?

One or two. Look, I get that you are real handy with a Bluebook, but instead of joining that third or fourth journal--true story, four staff editor positions!--enter a negotiation competition or join a clinic or extern.

(If cite-checking is what fulfills you, by all means carry on. I just hate to think that folks are occupying their time with triple or quadruple the cite-checking assignments because they think that's the way to clinch a job offer.)

Q: If you have no work experience and no transactional law classes under your belt, how do you know that corporate law is for you?

Law firms that ask you to pick a practice group after one year of law school are putting you in a real tough spot. In my relatively useless opinion, folks who fit this profile should pick a firm that allows summer associates to rotate through practice groups.

Q: Are you afraid to ask questions or do you really not have any?

Dude, I'm a first-year. My opinion of you can't possibly carry that much weight with the recruiting committee. So don't be shy. My role in this process, as I see it, is to be a resource to you. As a first-year associate who spent two summers at the firm, I can give you information that you can't find on the website or the NALP form. It may be that the partners or senior associates that you spoke with earlier in the day answered your questions. Well, ask them again! We all experience life at the firm differently. (Plus, if you don't ask any questions, your interviewer might be left with the impression that you aren't really interested in the practice group, firm, etc.)

For those having difficulty coming up with questions, here are some of the questions I asked when I was an interviewee:

What was your favorite summer associate assignment? (for junior associates)
How many associates do the partners typically staff per deal team?
How is work assigned? (Free market system or work coordinator driven?)
What proportion of your time do you spend on diligence? (for junior associates)
Do you make use of the firm's formal mentorship program? (if the firm has one)
Why did you choose [insert firm name here]?
How often are associates formally reviewed?
Do your clients come from a particular industrial sector? Or, if the answer to the former is obviously stated on the firm's website: How did you come to focus your practice on clients in [_______] industry? (This question worked with M&A folks, but it could come across as silly and ill-informed in certain other circumstances.)
How often do associates work on deals run out of other offices of the firm?
Are associates expected to choose between a public or private company track or is it possible to get exposure to both?

These ramblings are the product of my limited personal experience. Your mileage will vary.

In Knots

2011-09-07T02:21:00.001-05:00

Every week there is someone new shaming me for not yet having a ring on my finger. Most recently, it was a nail technician (a pedicure was months overdue... callouses like whoa).

NT: You married?

P2P: Nope.

NT: *squinting so as to bring my faults into clear focus*

P2P: *not taking the bait*

. . . .

P2P: *hoping to wait it out*

NT: How old are you?

P2P: 30

NT: *concerned eyes like saucers* Tsk, tsk, tsk.

After a line of questioning that left me feeling like I was in a deposition, not a nail salon, her diagnosis had something to do with caring too much about money. This is how older women cope when the grand inquisition hits upon the dual grad degree thing. It appears there could be no other rational explanation for a woman spending so many years in school!

Many of my single cohorts are frustrated by these conversations because they are convinced that marriage and motherhood aren't part of their fulfillment equation. But these conversations are equally frustrating to me as a person who really would have liked to have been married more than five years ago (however irrational that sentiment may have been in my early to mid twenties).

With due respect to the nail tech, she's wrong. It's not about money. I got myself here by staying in relationships long after they had reached their expiration date. I've often known that things weren't right, recognized the problem, but held on hoping to make things work no matter how miserable it might make me in deference to what I saw as a far worse outcome: being exactly what I am today.

How does it feel to be living the life my 20 year old self envisioned as a worst-case scenario? Pretty great, actually. I have a job that is occasionally interesting. I have only a few chronic health problems. I have a roof over my head. I've traveled to interesting places. For this life to be my worst-case scenario I am truly blessed.

The worst part is that I'm lonely. Really lonely. That isn't great. But it could be much worse.

[Must laugh because, while writing this post, I just received a "We're engaged!" text from a friend.]

Illustrated

2011-09-07T00:25:00.000-05:00

I love illustrated blog posts, but my blog seems to be a wash of text. This is because most of my own photos aren't great quality. But today, for a change, here are a few snaps from the past week:

Little C gets her groom on...

Sibling thinks about making Pretty Princess part of the family...

Speaking of the sibling, we made a pretty cute pair, didn't we?

When you hear from a friend who has lost a family home in the Texas wildfires it's pretty darn easy to be thankful for the simple things.

All Over the Place

2011-09-03T02:08:00.001-05:00

This week's adventures as a first-year associate took me to the corporate codes of Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Maryland, as well as the series regulars Delaware and California. The week felt busy by comparison to the rest of my year, but was really just on-target as far as billables are concerned. Here's hoping the trend continues.

* * *

In other news, I made it out to Pasadena for dinner via the topsy turvy 110N. Once the freeway ended and Pasadena began, I turned down a few side streets to check out the housing. People keep telling me that Pasadena is the Orange County of Los Angeles. This may be true, but the homes I saw in Pasadena had more character and maturity than my native, master-planned OC. Still, this neighborhood felt familiar--a lot like the neighborhood Steve Martin came home to as George Banks in Father of the Bride, a movie that I must have watched a hundred times as a kid (Google later confirmed this hunch as accurate).

Speaking of neighborhoods that show promise, a fellow blogger was so kind as to introduce me to her stomping grounds in West Hollywood. What a great place! It's fairly walkable and felt like a legitimate neighborhood. This part of town seems more appropriate for where I am in my life (Pasadena struck me as a place for families, not singles--correct me if I'm wrong). I've also noticed that a lot of the restaurants or activities on my to-try-in-LA list are focused in this area.

Hot in Here

2011-08-29T00:57:00.001-05:00

If I have to work on a Saturday or Sunday, I walk across the street to the office to do it. I prefer my hulking office monitor to my tiny laptop screen. I like to spread my documents across my, L-shaped desk instead of working at my cramped kitchen table. Most of all, I love how quiet it is (when there aren't helicopters buzzing the building).

The office is a wasteland on the weekend due to the wonder that is remote access. Phones aren't ringing. Secretaries aren't gossiping (not that I mind, I just find it impossible not to eavesdrop). My next door office-neighbor's voice isn't audible through the wall even when my door is closed. I can get into the zone and get stuff done in a way that sometimes seems impossible on a normal work day.

(I can also dress comfortably, kick off my shoes, and sit cross-legged, which seems to make a world of difference to my productivity.)

This afternoon I was particularly industrious, until I noticed that I was sweating despite wearing just a tank top. Turns out that the air conditioning doesn't run on the weekend. Makes sense and I'm sure that a request could be made to turn it on if I really wanted to be a diva. (I don't.) But the fact that I didn't notice this until the very last weekend of August is a testament to LA's mild summer. (What!?! Did I just write something marginally positive about Los Angeles!?! Yup, the searing Texas summer is something I don't miss.)

Team Padfolio

2011-08-26T02:02:00.004-05:00

For a few weeks, young folks clad in black suits and clutching padfolios have been traipsing past my office door. Other than their tendency to make me feel like an old hag who waited too long to go to grad school (you guys, most of these kids finished undergrad SEVEN YEARS after I did!!!), I love these wee lawyers-to-be for their naivite, unabashed enthusiasm, and ability to send me home looking inward, re-examining the choices I made four years ago.

Here's what I thought about 2L recruiting before I joined the dark side.

Where does P2Pv2011 think my student self went wrong?

I picked my city first, firms second.
I prioritized family-friendly firms even though I was single and childless (beware wishful thinking).
I went back to the same firm for my entire second summer. Canceling all of my banking interviews the day of the Lehman debacle was reactionary.

What did I do right? I got a summer offer and, despite Bear Stearns, et al., and the U.S. economy's best efforts, I converted that summer offer into a full-time position. I survived.

My Saturday

2011-08-20T22:07:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning to the usual snuggles and hippity, hoppety, I-want-to-play-NOW routine. Play we did. C's favorite toy at the moment is a tiny plush crab. The chelipeds are connected to the carapace with elastic that makes for a satisfying tug. B thinks the whole thing is nonsense and can't be bothered to come out from underneath the blankets to play.

After a slow start to the morning, I took care of some emails, consulted Google maps, and left for brunch in a new-to-me part of town with some young alumni from my law school. Because the law school crowd wasn't the center of my social life in Austin, I am sometimes apprehensive about these events. But I'm glad I went. Can't complain about interesting company, an outdoor table, and challah french toast with berries and creme fraiche!

Once again downtown, I laced up my sneakers and hit the street for my first legit outdoor run since the move. A break from the monotony of the treadmill was overdue. I weaved between the steel and glass giants for a good four miles and happened upon a hitherto unknown yoga studio along the way. (Also happened upon alarmingly frequent hills--gotta check out the half marathon course map as soon as it's posted.)

About an hour later I was back on the 10, headed westward to a massage appointment. Do you know people who scoff at Massage Envy? I do. Would it be great if we all got massages at only the most upscale of spas? I guess so. But I've had some mediocre massages at high-end places. If you put a little effort into finding the right masseuse and don't need other spa amenities, Massage Envy hits the spot (within the budget of someone still paying down their student loans to boot). I made my first appointment when I returned from Tokyo with so much tension in my neck that I couldn't turn my head without shooting pains and I've been stopping in once a month ever since.

Now I'm puttering around the apartment: taking care of some chores, polishing off some leftover pasta, and about to curl up on the couch with C and B and a DVD. Not a bad day. Not bad at all :)

Run Down (Week 1)

2011-08-14T21:51:00.000-05:00

The half marathon "training" program that I'm following is a thirteen week program. (Is it just me or does "training" sound overblown!?! It's 13.1 miles, not the Olympics.) This past week was the first, official week. The program will wrap up just in time for the Los Angeles Rock n Roll half marathon--my half of choice largely because the finish line is within walking distance of my apartment.

I'm looking forward to it. And the NYE half. And the Tinkerbell half that will follow. More on that later.

The last and first time that I ran a half marathon, I was pretty nervous I wouldn't be able to finish despite mostly following the training program. I "raced" at a leisurely shuffle (but, proudly, did not stop to walk even once), wanting to make sure I'd have enough energy left to cross the finish line. Now that I know I can make it to the finish, I look forward to putting in some legitimate effort this time around. Especially since a friend called me out as a slacker when he saw my Austin time. I'm hoping that there will be pacers to follow, but am not sure whether that will be part of the program.

This week I ran a total of fourteen miles. Two four-mile runs and one six-mile run. It's a start. I'm following a beginner program, which is why the mileage looks low. I wanted to try the intermediate program this time, but I just don't think I have the time during the week for the significant step up in mileage. There's also some worry about protecting my knee. It gets sore enough to justify icing after longer (>8 mi) runs, which is okay but I don't want to push it too far. (One knee surgery was enough.)

Also this week, I swam for one hour with SCAQ. Definitely hoping to make this a more regular thing. It was fun and not too intimidating.

I'm down four pounds since this post.

One More Day

2011-08-12T01:49:00.001-05:00

A childhood friend passed away over the weekend. I mainly remember him as a teenager, but he'd grown to be a lawyer who was also practicing here in LA. He had a big presence and a habit of making everyone feel included, so he is incredibly missed by many. His family lived just down the street from us when we were all growing up. His little sister is my brother's age. I can only imagine how difficult this is for them.

I am fortunate to have had only a few friends pass away at a young age. Another childhood friend lost a battle to melanoma when we were freshmen in college. A friend from college was killed by a drunk driver just a few years ago. Each person was special, of course. But news of each of their deaths affected me in the same way.

It got me thinking how incredibly lucky I am to have one more day. One more day with my family. One more day with my friends. One more day to wake up. One more day to be.

Worth It?

2011-08-08T00:43:00.003-05:00

I've been working in the new office for two months now. Seems like a good time to think about how things are coming along. A check-in of sorts.

Have I been getting work? Yes. I have gotten more than one assignment from each of the partners in the group and from partners in transactional-practices outside of our group. Much appreciated and more than I can say for my experience at my original office.

Have I been getting enough work to meet the monthly billable expectations? No. This wasn't surprising my first month. But it was a disappointment the second. I try to remember that the relocation was somewhat like pressing the "reset" button and that it will take a few months to fully integrate.

Have I been learning more than I was while working in my original office? Yes. Besides learning by doing, I've been making it a habit to redline any drafting projects that I turn into a partner against the final version that goes to the client. This has been helpful in two ways. First, I pick up on a lot of contextual details about the client that are not otherwise explained to me. Second, more obviously, it gives me an opportunity to self-evaluate my work product, learn more about the partner's stylistic preferences, and identify substantive questions that I might ask later on.

One more note on learning opportunities. At this office, the partners actually attend the practice group meetings. Meetings consist of a summary report of work ongoing and a discussion of any interesting lessons learned or a substantive presentation from an outside source. In my original office, not only were meetings not well attended, they were routinely cancelled.

Do I like my apartment? Yes and no. I love walking to work. (I haven't been in my car for seven days.) And I am saving money because I don't pay for a parking spot at the office, I get a discount on my car insurance, and I'm not using much gas. The apartment, although a tiny 500 square feet, serves its purpose. There hasn't been a lot of "quiet enjoyment" of the apartment as the windows rattle in response to the frequent helicopter traffic and there is an outdoor summer concert series that takes place across the street. I would like more space, more peace and quiet, and proximity to an actual neighborhood. To be fair, these are wants, not needs.

Am I happy? No. I am really struggling in my personal life. In part, I am being stubborn because I feel like I was moved here against my will and I need to get over that. I moved here for a shot at getting a decent amount of work experience. That's the way to think about it. But I also feel like I just don't fit in this place. There have been a lot of nights that I've come home, poured myself a glass of wine, and shook my head at what I gave up to get to this place.

At this point, there's probably someone reading this post that things I am a spoiled brat. Dude, I get where you're coming from. I am grateful to be employed. The thing I'm happiest about right now is my ability to meet my financial obligations. But money only takes you so far. I know it's on me to make this situation better.

Was the transfer worth it? I want a few more months before I decide. Was law school worth it? Not so far as I can see. Sure, it was an interesting intellectual exercise, but I would love to go back to my life as a paralegal in Newport Beach in 2004. What I miss most was being surrounded by friends who had known me since I was a kid. I miss the Friday calls to plot trips to the beach, a walk on the trails, or a day at the pool. But I can't go back. So I try to remind myself how great it is that I meet my financial needs each month, have an office with a window, and two great little dogs to keep me company.

Nip it in the Bud

2011-08-02T22:17:00.001-05:00

I've gained some weight since all of this nonsense about transferring offices began. Add one part stress, one part unhealthy eating during the month of the epic train commute, and one part failure to workout and you get a professional wardrobe that is suddenly all too snug. While looking myself over in the mirror on a recent morning I went from thinking "these pants seem tight" to imagining myself a card-carrying cat lady in about two beats.

Unacceptable! (I am, after all, allergic to cats.)

The easiest way to deal with this would be to hit the mall, but I'm not one for shopping. I spent my money on half-marathon registrations instead. (Even race registrations are more expensive in California than they were in Texas!) While I have no talent for running, the exercise does a lot for my waistline and the endorphins do a lot for my blue-leaning personality.

The goal is to lose 10 pounds by the time that I head up to Sonoma for A & T's wedding. I know I can do it and I'll be sharing the data along the way.

30 x 30: Visit with College Friends

2011-07-28T01:29:00.002-05:00

I've been so wrapped up in the agony of my slow start at the firm that I haven't blogged about 30 x 30 in a long while, despite the fact that I've checked a few more items off the list. Here's to getting back on track!

When I sat down to compile my 30 x 30, a list of thirty goals to complete before the end of my 30th year, some goals seemed more daunting than others. I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to budget for some goals (e.g., New Zealand) and others seemed near impossible due to scheduling issues beyond my control (e.g., sitting for the Texas Bar Exam--a goal that will have to be bumped to next year's list). When I included "visit with college friends" on my list, I just wasn't sure if I would be able to get my college drawmates in the same place at the same time. We are spread out across the country, doing very different things--we are nurses, teachers, doctors, lawyers, directors, and businesswomen in NYC, SF, Minnesota, and LA. Little did I know at the time, but four of them would be getting married between the time I compiled my 30 x 30 list and the end of my 30th year.

With so many weddings on the calendar, I've been able to visit with my college friends more this year than any other year since I left Palo Alto. First, we all met up in NYC for C's greek orthodox wedding. Next, we were scheduled to meet up in Vermont for M's wedding. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to Vermont because of the SD to LA transition, but M was very gracious about it and her special day was captured in lots of beautiful photos that I've had the chance to see. Then, we met up in Calistoga for a bachelorette weekend and a couple of us made it to a bridal shower in LA. Finally, in a few months, all but one of us, who is expecting her first baby and won't be able to travel, will be together again at A's wedding in Sonoma.

I'm not as close to my drawmates as they are to one another because I spent a fair amount of time away from the group--in the dance studio and living in the sorority house--during the last couple years of college. Nonetheless, every time I visit with them I feel revitalized. Their creative, but intellectual energy and raw kindness is extraordinary. Visiting with them leaves me happy and inspired, which is why I wanted to make it a priority to see them this year. How lucky I was when the wedding invitation started showing up in my mailbox. Luckier still to get to live with them for a couple of years during college!

One Year Since the Bar Exam

2011-07-27T21:19:00.002-05:00

At the end of the third day of the California Bar Exam last year, I closed my laptop and walked, as if through a minefield, across the street to the hotel. One of my reoccurring bar exam nightmares had involved getting hit by a car between the convention center and the hotel, resulting in the demise of my laptop and, along with it, the exam answers that had not yet been uploaded.

I finally relaxed after my SofTest beamed my answers through the ether to the Law Examiners. When I walked out of the hotel to my car it was if the sky was bluer, the air was cleaner (unlikely, as I was in Ontario of all places), and life was beginning anew. But I didn't have the energy to head straight to the bar and celebrate. It was a few days before I was back to my senses and well-rested. And it was at least a week until I was back home in Austin and chucking my prep books into the recycling bin.

One of the great things about going through a challenging experience that spans the course of a couple of months, is that it leaves you with a renewed appreciation for even the most mundane or trivial things. I remember, some time after the bar exam, sitting on my couch, sipping a Coke, and marveling at the silence--I wasn't listening to a bar lecture and I wasn't reviewing notes, I was just relaxing, without the I-should-be-studying guilt hanging over my head. And that was HUGE because the I-should-be-studying guilt had been around long before I started prepping for the bar (hello, law school!).

The year since the bar exam has been more difficult than I anticipated, but I can still sit on the couch, sipping a Coke, and soak up the silence without guilt. For that, I am grateful.

The Last Few Days Before the Bar Exam

2011-07-22T00:52:00.004-05:00

This time last year I had worried myself into paralysis. (This from someone who is a standardized test taker by nature!) I was worried because I hadn't completed every single assignment in the KaplanPMBR general bar review syllabus. I am here to tell you that it's not the end of the world if you didn't complete every assignment or memorize every outline, so long as you did most of the work and focused your efforts on the topics that pay out the most points on the exam.

Let me say that again. I didn't do every assignment on the syllabus. I practiced only one CPT. (Recommended--do not even think about wasting your time on a performance test practice question between now and the exam. Seriously, if you're practicing the CPT right now you need to get your priorities straight.) I didn't even take the midterm. (Not recommended.) I still passed. And if you're thinking that the fact that I passed doesn't have any bearing on whether you'll passed, I get it. In that case, let me appeal to the fact that fatiguing yourself with undue worry is not helpful at this particular moment.

Honestly evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, compare them against the topics most and least frequently tested and make smart decisions about how to spend your time in these final days. The choices can be hard. For example, I decided that I wouldn't learn the California Evidence Law distinctions because my time was better spent solidifying my understanding of the federal rules of evidence (to understand this choice it might be helpful to know that I didn't take Evidence in law school, never had an interest in learning it, and am now a transactional lawyer). What do we all worry about when we make a choice like that? We worry that there will be an essay on California Evidence Law. Well, you know where this is going, right? There was a CA Evidence essay on my exam. My stomach sunk when I saw it, but I start typing--I answered the question using the principals from the federal rules of evidence. I didn't feel great about it, but I gave an answer and moved on.

It will happen. There will be ridiculous MBE questions that stump you. There will probably be at least one essay question that eludes you. The most important thing is to keep your shit together. Provide an answer (any self-respecting law student should be able to throw some bullshit on the page that makes reasonable sense using principles that they learned somewhere along the road). Move to the next question. Have the discipline to keep your thoughts from returning to the question you didn't get when you should working a new question or writing a new essay.

Other things that are bound to happen during the bar exam:

Your chair will be uncomfortable.
You'll be too hot or too cold.
It will be noisy (you have no idea how much noise hundreds of metal folding chairs make on a convention center floor--bring ear plugs, even if you don't think you'll want them).
Someone's computer will fry. We hope it won't be yours, but it might be the guy sitting right next to you in which case the proctors will create a lot of drama and you will feel really bad for the guy but you gotta stay focused and keep writing. (True story.)
Someone will faint or throw-up. (Also a true story.)
Your proctor will say something insensitive.
Someone near you will want to discuss the questions during the break. (Duh, even gunners take the bar exam.)

In these last few days before and during the exam, staying healthy and sane should be a priority. Eat something reasonable. Pay attention to your caffeine intake. Adjust your sleep schedule to fit the rhythm of the bar exam (hopefully you've already been working on this). And SLEEP. This isn't a law school final where you stay up all night, write the exam for three hours, and then go home to crash. This is an endurance event. You need to be rested and if you are an insomniac (*raises her hand*) you need a strategy.

To address my sleep issues, I established a routine early in the bar study process. I bought an audio file that played a guided relaxation track over white noise sounds (waves crashing, rainstorms, etc.). The first few nights I was still awake at the end of the thirty minute track. Pretty soon I was falling asleep just a few minutes into it. The night before the first day of the bar exam, when my stress peaked I listened to the track and fell asleep without a struggle. (It was a freakin' miracle--wish I had discovered this idea as a 1L.)

You're gonna survive this. It's going to be over soon. I wish you the very best of luck, preferably in the form of an essay on your best subject because I will never, ever forget how great it felt to open my test booklet to a partnership/agency essay question--like a manna from heaven. Wishing the same to you.

Happy Feet

2011-07-21T03:58:00.006-05:00

About seven years ago, I sat down with some colored pencils to draw a little something for my then-boyfriend who had a fondness for penguins. I can't remember the occasion. A birthday? Christmas? Just because? I snapped a photo of the drawing before giving it to him:

I've been thinking about him a lot lately. (My new surroundings were his college stomping grounds.) Life hasn't been as simple and joyful since we were together, and I miss that. There are so many happy moments from those years that I can remember in extraordinary, sometimes excruciating, detail.

Recently, someone sent me a link to his wedding webpage. He is getting married at 30--just like his teenage self had planned. Nothing about it or her was surprising.

The surprise came later that same night, in yoga class, when Coldplay's Warning Sign came over the studio sound system. The alligator tears started when Chris Martin sang "the truth is, that I miss you so.... And I'm tired." Tired, if not exhausted.

I miss the friend who lived so many of my favorite moments right alongside me. But, even more, I miss the simple things that made me truly happy. Those tears were an acknowledgement of how unexpectedly hard, complicated and tiring I've allowed the intervening years be. I've accomplished a lot but rarely given myself permission to be happy since we parted ways. I want that to change.

Getting to Know the Neighborhood

2011-07-17T23:45:00.002-05:00

This neighborhood intimidates me. I'm closer to the "hood" than I've ever been (unless you count the few weeks I spent as an intern at LACMA while living by USC). Add to that my lack of street smarts and suburban upbringing, and things get a little iffy at night and on weekends when the working joes head home.

As a solution, Little C proposed that we just stay in bed and hide from the world:

She didn't get her way. We headed out for a walk first thing this morning. Little B trotted along right at my heels, but C continues to be overwhelmed by the odiferous smorgasbord that is a city sidewalk and didn't keep much of a pace. She was thoroughly engrossed in tracing the canine chain of title of a planter nestled up to a building when a city bus tore by and--whoooosh!--released pressure from its air breaks. The loud, unfamiliar noise propelled C behind the planter, where I found her reduced a quivering ball of fluff moments later.

Clearly, we're still adjusting to our new environment.

After taking C and B home and scrubbing them clean, I did a little more exploring. I found a fancy dog and cat supply store, which sadly does not carry our brand of dog food but offers all order of raw foods and grooming services that I'm not really sure anyone needs. Blueberry facials? For a dog? I also stopped by the neighborhood drug store where ordinary merchandise was stored behind locked plexiglass cabinets. Lots of deodorant theft around these parts, it appears.

Pretty absurd juxtaposition, don't ya think? Dogs getting blueberry facials while their human neighbors lift so much deodorant from the drug store that it has be kept locked up. This is the stuff that urban renewal is made of.

Connected

2011-07-16T22:07:00.004-05:00

After a bit of a false start last night, a technician came out to the apartment and managed to get my connection up and running. It's been just over three weeks since I disconnected in San Diego. Three weeks without a personal internet connection was a bit of a long haul--there's only so much I'm willing to do on the Firm's computer! So I'm quickly catching up on some e-errands and generally celebrating the fact that my last move-in to-do has been crossed off the list.

Some of you have asked how I like my new surroundings. It's a bit of a mixed bag so far.

Let's start with what I don't like:

It's noisy! I've never lived in a downtown environment full of ambient noise before. Sirens. Shouting. Car alarms. Helicopters. Freeway noise. My new location has it all 24/7. In time, I probably won't even notice it, but for now it frustrates me that even with my apartment windows closed there's no peace and quiet. Pretty sure I haven't experienced silence since I left San Diego.
It's all concrete!
It's dirty!
There are USC fans everywhere!

Okay, but seriously, it's actually not all bad. I have been surprised by how bothered I am by the lack of fresh, green open spaces, considering that I don't view myself as an outdoorsy type. Who knew!?! My other complaints--not knowing my way around, loneliness, present not living up to the future I dreamed of in law school--will wash away with time. (I hope.)

What I like:

Walking to work and grabbing a quick lunch at home when I have time for it. My new dentist and optometrist are also within walking distance.
Entertainment options. I've only scratched the surface, but there's a lot more going on here than in San Diego. Just this week, I went to a comedy club and the ballet.

Some of you have asked how work is going. I have had some busy days, but also some slow days. The jury is still out, but I'm hopeful. I want this to work.

Back Online July 15th

2011-07-05T18:58:00.001-05:00

In Beach City, I purchased high speed wireless from Time Warner. My service was terminated at the end of June when a Time Warner technician visited my home, three hours after his scheduled appointment time, and picked up the related equipment. Imagine my surprise when I received a bill for July services (including an undisclosed fee for the technician visit!) in my mailbox last week. After spending approximately 30 minutes on the phone with customer service, it was determined that the technician failed to log the receipt of my equipment and that, therefore, my account had not been closed. The customer service representative put out a tracking order for my returned equipment, which is to say they have no idea where it's at and I was told to call back today. Which is also to say that moving is a hassle.

My wireless service at the new apartment will be installed on July 15th. This is why it's been quiet in this corner of the internet.

While offline, I've been busy organizing and adjusting to my new, considerably smaller apartment. I shed just enough of my belongings to fit into 510 square feet. The space is filled to the brim with things, strange city sounds, and the smell of cigarette smoke (an unfortunate byproduct of my unit's proximity to the fire escape).

For now, I'm clinging to the convenience of walking to work. It's the silver lining.

Get a Move on

2011-06-25T15:17:00.001-05:00

Earlier this week, the movers packed up my apartment by the beach. It was a sad day. Before I hopped in my car to drive up to the City I took a moment to listen to the wind rustle the pines, watch a hummingbird buzz by, and breathe in the marine air. Man, am I gonna miss that.

During the last couple of years of grad school, I cultivated a clear vision of what my life would be like in beach town--right down to where my unborn children would go to high school. That vision kept me going when times were tough. It's real frustrating that after getting through the tough stuff, I don't get to enjoy the outcome I thought I was working towards.

Disappointment, we've all experienced it.

So I hopped into my car and got on to the freeway. Man, am I lucky that I didn't have to do that drive all month (thank you Amtrak!). I arrived at my new building, where I had trouble getting into the parking garage due to a busted transponder and slept on the floor due to a busted air mattress. The next day, the movers arrived and filled my tiny place with towers of cardboard boxes.

It's not home yet. But I'm working on it... rather I will be working on it when I get back from a wedding in Northern California.

In the meanwhile, anyone have some thoughts on how a girl with red furniture accents should deal with the burnt orange accent wall in her new place?

Office Transfer

2011-06-05T21:32:00.002-05:00

The office transfer is well underway. My firm profile, telephone extension, and timekeeping software now point to the City office. I still have a laptop dock in the Beach office (came in handy this weekend), but that's about it.

My experience in City office has been good so far. Most importantly, I have work to do. Enough work to make my hours for the week. And that, dear readers, hasn't happened since I was in Tokyo.

It's one helluva commute: 3 hrs, 15 minutes from door to door (each way). One evening last week, a partner found me in my office at 8pm and gave me a "quick" research assignment. The assignment took only an hour, but I missed the 8:30pm train and had to wait around in the City for the next train at 10:10pm. I got home after midnight. Brutal. Each day I remind myself that it's only until the end of June. I. Can. Do. This.

Needless to say, I'm feeling particularly motivated to make the move happen. I finally got the movers to return my calls (busy time of year for them). They'll come out for walk-throughs next Friday. I have a leasing appointment on Monday during my lunch break. Progress.

Brace for Impact

2011-05-30T02:13:00.005-05:00

The water has been rough around these parts for a while now. What with sick pups who have been feeling terrible and making a mess for a week, a car that needs an immediate expensive repair, a leasing office willing to accept no less than my first born as compensation for leaving before the end of my lease term, and a chaotic situation at work, I've often found myself wondering if things could possibly get worse.

Why yes, yes they can. And yes, yes they will.

The month of June will present an unprecedented challenge in the form of a 2 3/4 hr commute (each way!) between San Diego and Los Angeles. I will take the train ($520 in fare for the month) and study for the Texas bar exam while in transit. The insanity will only last for one month. But it is gonna be tough.

To prepare, I took the pups to the vet to see if we can get them back on track. $500 later, the pups were hydrated but the vet couldn't pinpoint the problem. She sent me home with some medicine to soothe their stomachs and the number for the 24 hour clinic. Here's hoping that everyone feels better tomorrow since a family member has very kindly agreed to care for them this week.

I'm also scrambling to find someone to repair the window regulator on my VW. This is such a frequent and expensive problem that I've sworn off Beetles for life. I bought my car, new, exactly six years ago and in that time I've had to replace four window regulators at a cost of ~$450 each. Brutal!!! Also brutal, driving all over the Southern California freeways in a car with a driver's side window that won't roll up.

Meanwhile, I'm cleaning the house, doing laundry, and stocking the frig with provisions for the next few weeks. I'm assuming that I won't be able to finish any household chores during the week, so I want to be prepared.

In theory, I am supposed to be in Vermont for a wedding this weekend. It's gonna take a miracle.

Ready for Things to Turn Around

2011-05-27T01:11:00.001-05:00

Monday

Waited for Tuesday's interview schedule, which appeared in my inbox at about 4:30pm. Ten interviews! Reviewed the related attorney bios. Made it to 8 o'clock yoga--by far the best part of my day.

Tuesday

Woke up to a huge mess--pups had gotten sick overnight. Cleaned it up. Out the door at 6:15am and on my way to the train station. Caught a cab and made it to the office on time. Started interviewing at 9:30am. Finished interviewing at 3:30pm. Barely made the 4:10 train. Home by 7pm.

Wednesday

New office gave me the thumbs up. Copied on emails between various senior folks approving my transfer. Emptied my office. Started to wonder where to live in a city that I don't much know or like.

Thursday

Quick project for international office. Stare at uninspiring apartment websites. Meet with current landlord. Discover that on top of the $3,500 lease-break fee I must repay ~$1,500 in concessions because I won't be able to stay through my lease term. Marvel at news that it will cost me ~$150 per month to park at the new office building. Calculate train fare for commute during the month of June (~$520).

As I pulled into my apartment complex at the end of the day and rolled up my driver's side window I heard a loud pop and watched with dread as my window receded back into the door. The window regulator had broken (again--it's the fourth time). That repair will cost me more than a couple hundred dollars.

I've had enough for one week.

The Besties and Their Babies

2011-05-23T01:02:00.007-05:00

I am in close contact with two of my childhood girlfriends. To be certain, the three of us have followed different paths. So much so that I'm not sure that we would have found our way to friendship if we had met later in life. Nonetheless, I care deeply about both of them and can't imagine my life without them!

In 2010, L and V became mothers within a few months of one another. It's been fun to follow along with the little ones' development via Facebook. But pictures tell only part of the story. When I sat down to create my 30x30 list, I was determined to meet my best friends' children while they were still babies (even though we lived thousands of miles apart from one another at the time).

Mission accomplished! What a treat to experience L and V as mothers and to meet their little men. While the boys are handsome--cute is a better adjective at this stage--it will be even more fun to meet them again once they are crawling, walking, and talking.

To the parents that might be reading, can you please explain the magic of Sophie the giraffe? This toy seems to be an absurd success--if the fact that it appears in every baby picture to grace my Facebook wall is any indication! Is it just a fad or is there really something to it?

The Year Since Graduation

2011-05-21T02:08:00.005-05:00

May: Teach LSAT classes; take final exams; graduate
June: Teach LSAT classes; study for the bar exam; FREAK OUT about the bar exam
July: Teach LSAT classes; FREAK OUT about the bar exam; take the bar exam
August: Teach LSAT classes
September: Teach LSAT classes
October: Teach LSAT classes
November: Teach my last LSAT class; find my name on the bar exam pass list; pack up apartment; leave Austin; collect deferral stipend; make first student loan payment
December: Vacation in New Zealand; spend the holidays with family; move to Beach City; collect deferral stipend
January: First day at the firm
February: Leave the country to be staffed on first deal--sadly, this consists of photocopying, printing, and compiling document schedules
March: Experience one of the five most powerful earthquakes in the world since modern record-keeping began in 1900; return to Beach City; enroll in Japanese classes; sign up for a yoga membership
April: Spend most of my time wondering why I'm not getting any work; ask for work; worry about work
May: Ask for work; worry about work; break down my hours (backing out pro bono and international office hours) and realize that home office has only given me five hours of work in five months; meet with head of practice area to discuss same; receive apologies; hear about buckets for the first time (more on this later); get asked to relocate

It could have been worse, but this first year has fallen woefully short of expectations.

Sayonara

2011-05-14T01:45:00.003-05:00

About a week ago, I received word that work was sending me to the Bay Area for a month. I was told to be ready to leave in a week's time. It sure seemed like they were serious about sending me.

After all, this was exactly how things went down when I was sent to the Tokyo office. The news came via last-minute notice, light on logistical detail, but it panned out. So I went into prep-to-be-gone-for-a-month mode, which included, among other things, dropping the Japanese class. Sayonara!

Oh, what a foolish little first-year associate I am.

You see where this is going, right? The firm changed their mind. I will still be shipped to a different office (permanently), but it will happen a little later... still soon, but later! How soon? Well, no one seems to be able to pinpoint that for me.

This means that I dropped my Japanese class when I could have squeezed in at least two more sessions. What a waste!

LIFO

2011-05-12T02:15:00.000-05:00

At this point, I wanted a transfer so that I could develop skills. Looks like I'll get what I wanted. Unfortunately, it also looks like this move will take me to a city that I strongly dislike.

As disappointed as I am that it has had to come to this, I have to give the local partners credit for helping get me to a place where I can get the experience needed to move my career forward. They also provided an apology and acknowledged letting me down--and that's something not many associates get to hear on their way out the door.

It's a tumultuous time. I'll update when I have a clearer picture of where I'm headed and when.

Perceived Progress

2011-05-01T02:33:00.001-05:00

I've spent the last couple of days in San Francisco in a training program on a fairly dry and technical area of the law. It was great to get out of the office and learn from some partners with a deep knowledge of their area of expertise. The event ended with some comments regarding the firm's obligation (commitment?) to help develop associates through assignment of client work, with training events such as this one filling in the gaps.

Progress.

They want associates to progress (up or out!). If progress was measured in terms of CLE presentations attended, I would measure up just fine. But that's not how it works. The metric that counts is client billable time and I have so little of it that I'm not even on pace to advance with my class year, let alone meet minimum expectations. This bums me out, because I want to meet expectations, because I want to learn, and because I want to be able to pay my bills.

Which brings me to money. The one thing I can control right now is how I use my paycheck. I track my spending very carefully and have an Excel model that includes historical data and a detailed forecast that helps me decide how to optimally use my paycheck. I'll admit that I'm obsessive about updating the historical data with each passing month. Why? Because I get to see my liabilities shrink, assets grow, and net worth creep upwards. I feel like I'm making progress. And, for now, it's the only time of the month that I feel like progress is made.

What other opportunities do I have to create a sense of progress? To start, I can add a few of the higher level yoga classes to my schedule. I can get back to running--I really enjoyed tracking my progress when I prepared for the Austin Half Marathon last year. I can (finally) start another painting. There are opportunities.

Connectedness: Staff Appreciation Week

2011-04-29T01:14:00.003-05:00

Before I was an lawyer, I was a paralegal. And, before that, I was a legal assistant. Most people assumed that I made this transformation for the money. That's true, in part. But the most frustrating thing about being on staff wasn't the salary, it was that most lawyers treated staff as if we were invisible.

No eye contact when passing in the hallways. No quick "hello" or "goodbye" in the lobby. No acknowledgment unless they needed something from us. While law firms are hierarchical by nature, this behavior fosters the divisive us versus them mentality that exists between lawyers and staff at some firms.

Now that I'm on Team Esquire, I've confirmed much of what I suspected when I was on staff. Some lawyers are just plain rude. But many well-intentioned JDs stare intently at their blackberries instead of striking up conversation with staff because they don't know the staff member's name or they think the conversation will be awkward. Others fail to acknowledge your existence because their time is so damn valuable--every minute they spend chatting with staff is a minute they aren't billing.

Of course, lawyers don't reserve this behavior just for the staff. Partners tend to do the same to associates.

Why should we look away from our blackberries and at least make time to learn names, smile, and say "hello?" Because an isolated staff member will be less motivated to contribute to the team. Because a staff member that you've connected with is more likely to go the extra mile for you when you find yourself in a pinch. Because it's human nature to want to be acknowledged and to feel a connection to others around us. And because it's the right thing to do.

I will not let myself become one of those attorneys who treats her co-workers like they are invisible.

Just Keep Swimming

2011-04-23T15:53:00.016-05:00

Things are not going well. Work things. Personal things. I'm deeply disappointed and dissatisfied. The only thing I can think to do get myself out of bed and out the door each morning is to just keep at it, just keep swimming, hoping that something will change.

But how?

Some people say that happiness is just about four things: perceived control; perceived progress; connectedness; and meaning. Under this theory, connectedness pertains to the number and depth of relationships and meaning pertains to being part of something bigger than oneself. By this measure, it's no surprise that I'm feeling down, especially since I assessing myself with a focus on what is happening at work.

I want to do something about it.

So, today, while I run some errands and do some chores I am going to focus on figuring out which of the four areas I will work on this week.

Small Success

2011-04-09T21:40:00.001-05:00

In February, I posted some very general thoughts about my personal finances. After three months of regular paychecks, I have established some habits, not all of which are consistent with my earlier post.

1. Emergency Fund. My initial impulse was that my emergency fund should have a balance in the ballpark of $25k. It would take some time for me to accumulate a fund of that size and, back in February, I wasn't sure how I should balance emergency savings with my competing interest in paying down consumer/educational debt (accumulated while in grad school) at an accelerated pace. After thinking carefully about interest rates (debt v. equity), totaling my bare bones month-to-month expenses (which are relatively small given my status as a single, childless gal with a lease that terminates if I lose my job), and checking the balance of the remains of my pre-grad school savings account (~$10k) and my IRA (~$40k), I decided that I have enough emergency funds on hand. Instead of bulking up my emergency funds, I am directing all excess cash to debt payments.

2. Retirement Savings. This is a priority. I arranged to have 401(k) contributions automatically withdrawn from my paychecks and am on pace to make the maximum permitted annual contribution. Could I do more? Of course, but for now I am comfortable with this plan.

3. Saving for my First Home. *sigh* I've been dreaming of owning my own home/condo since my early 20s. Many of my friends bought their homes in Orange County at that time. Ten years later, I find myself in one of the country's most expensive real estate markets and feeling like home ownership is impracticable (see, e.g., recent post on lack of job security). Because of this I didn't save any money for a down payment in the first three months that I've been working as an attorney. All the extra cash went to accelerate debt repayment instead. But, for reasons I won't dive into now, I think it would make me feel better if I made at least a token contribution to a down payment fund each month. The token contribution amount is $100. You can track my progress via the SmartyPig widget in the sidebar.

4. Debt Repayment. This has been my focus in the first three months of regular paychecks. I have a budget that I created on Mint. It's conservative. At the end of each month all unspent income is used to pay down my debts. I've heard people say that paying down debt is unsatisfying because there is no tangible reward, but I get immense satisfaction watching debt balances shrink and my net worth grow. In fact, just this month, I paid off a student loan in full. This was a small but important success!

5. Splurges. In March, I posted about a few splurge purchases. I felt comfortable making these purchases because I had received but not used a per diem payment while working in Tokyo. I felt like I "needed" these splurges because work has been incredibly unsatisfying and I need something else to absorb my energy. Japanese class started last week and is looking to be a lot of fun. The Kindle is a hit--I'm nearly finished with my first book ("Delivering Happiness" by Tony Hsieh of Zappos fame). Yoga has been incredible and deserves a post of its own at some point in the future. Ballroom dancing class has been a dud and I don't plan to continue. The pace is slow and I don't have a partner.

6. Charitable Contributions. In the last few months I have made a number of unplanned charitable contributions. I need to spend some time learning how to maximize the impact of the money I give--because I'm not sure how helpful my one-off donations have been.

Each month I thank my lucky stars for my paycheck. When I feel frustrated with the time it will take me to reach my financial goals (this happens regularly), I remember how little cash I had left at the end of the month when I worked as a paralegal. I may not yet have a home to call my own, but I am better off than I once was and, for that, I am grateful.

Spring Evaluation

2011-04-06T00:25:00.006-05:00

The Firm conducts spring evaluations of first-year associates.

On one hand, there is nothing for me to worry about because I haven't been assigned any client-billable work by my home office since I started.

On the other hand, I haven't been assigned any client-billable work by my home office since I started. Typing that sparks a panic.

My fast-approaching spring eval underscores just how long I've been waiting for my first legit assignment. I have created some work for myself by way of pro bono projects and article writing. I've listened to inordinate quantities of pre-recorded CLE. I even flew across the Pacific for a short-term assignment in an international office (this ill-fated trip produced a couple of weeks of client-billable work supervised by the international office's junior associates). I have been told that a new transaction will have to come through the home office before I will be staffed on a deal--three months and still no dice.

Maybe three months isn't so long. "Enjoy the downtime," other associates say. After all, "corporate practice ebbs and flows." But how long can I sit on my hands before I am deemed to no longer be developmentally on-track?

Patience is a virtue, but not one that I seem to possess as of late. And, really, should I be patient given the circumstances?

Leaving the Firm voluntarily isn't an option that I'm considering for a multitude of reasons. But I have begun to wonder whether I should request a transfer to another office. How long can I wait out this lull without selling myself short in terms of training and skill development? How long will the firm justify my place on the payroll when I'm not billing hours?

Splurging

2011-03-27T22:32:00.003-05:00

Since starting work in January, I've been disciplined about my finances. It gives me a thrill to pay down my student debt by as much as possible each month, so it hasn't been too hard to stick to a budget. But I've splurged on some non-essential purchases since returning from Japan.

First, I enrolled in Japanese classes at a local university. I am really looking forward to this challenge, especially while my experiences in Tokyo are still fresh in my mind. And, you never know, maybe I'll get sent back and my language skills, however rudimentary, will come in handy.

Second, I ordered a Kindle. I had been lusting after a Kindle ever since purchasing one for someone else as a Christmas gift. I love to read for pleasure; and I love gadgets. I'm also trying to cut down on clutter. So it seemed that an e-reader was a good fit. I was tempted by the iPad2, Xoom or even a Nook, but--for now--the Kindle is the best choice for me. It should arrive sometime next week and I am already wondering what I should read first.

Third, I bought a class card at the local ballroom dancing studio. Despite a lifetime spent in dance studios, I haven't learned any of the social dances. I thought this would be a fun mix of something old (and comfortable!) and something new. But it's hard for me to take it easy within the four walls of a dance studio. The pace of this weekend's class (a salsa class) was incredibly slow-paced and it was a challenge to have fun in that environment. I'll go back for more--I need to give this a chance--but the jury is still out on this one.

Finally, I started back up with yoga. My neighborhood studio offers one week free to new students. I've waited a while to make sure that I start up at a time when I would be able to make the most of this offer. So, this week, I hope to attend one class each day. By the end of the week, I hope to have experienced most of the different class types and teachers.

There is a pattern here. I am trying to direct my fun-money towards experiences over material possessions (the Kindle is borderline, I admit). While I don't have a luxury car, TV or the perfectly coifed, botoxed, and manicured appearance of some of my friends, it seems like I get a lot more mileage (and happy memories!) out of doing rather than possessing. And, of course, I thank my lucky stars for the good fortune to have fun-money at my disposal.

One of my other "splurges" this month was sending a donation to the firm's foundation. The donation will be directed towards relief efforts in Japan. Last I heard, the firm had collected more than $400k for the cause and I look forward to hearing the total after the month-end cut off date for internal donations.

Uneventful

2011-03-23T02:13:00.002-05:00

The past few days have felt rather ho hum. And they should, given the excitement and tumult that preceded them. Work is slow and my spare time has been consumed with basic errands, obligations, and chores.

I assure you, it's preferable to clinging to the leg of an office desk--hoping that the team that built the office building did a bang up job, because your life depends on it.

Left Tokyo on Tuesday

2011-03-17T07:28:00.002-05:00

The firm sent me home on Tuesday.

I am home, safe and sound, and was at work in one of the California offices of the firm on Wednesday. My trip was cut short for a few reasons. With mounting concern over the nuclear situation, diminishing availability of food and services in Tokyo, and the absence of client work, it made sense for me to return to the states. My family and friends are relieved. I, on the other hand, have mixed feelings.

Of course, I was happy to get my first full night of sleep in about five days. There were hundreds of aftershocks and, with all of the conflicting information regarding the nuclear situation, it had been hard to sleep through the night. Having said that, things in Tokyo were really not bad at all as compared to the northern and coastal areas.

Don't get me wrong, I am immensely grateful to be safe and happy to have made it out on a flight on Tuesday evening before the foreigners started to rush the airport. The firm told me to head home Tuesday at about 1pm. I immediately got on the phone with the airline while clearing out the office, took a 30 minute subway ride back to the apartment, and frantically packed most of my things in about 15-20 minutes. Singapore airlines had seats available on a 6:30pm flight on Tuesday, but there were no available seats on Wednesday so it seemed prudent to rush to make the Tuesday flight. As it turned out, it wasn't too difficult to find a cab (we had heard that the Airport Limousine--really a bus--wasn't running, I'm not sure if that was true), but the ride cost upwards of $200. It took just a little longer than the 90 minutes it had taken to travel the same distance a couple of weeks before. The traffic was not bad. At the airport, the lines were long and the lounges were crowded, but people were calm and orderly. And that is how I said goodbye to Tokyo.

I loved the parts of Tokyo that I saw and the character of its people. I liked the Tokyo office--both the people and the work--and was looking forward to a long stay. And I would like (very much) to return in the future.

Regretfully, I didn't take a single picture before the earthquake struck, I didn't see the cherry blossoms, and I didn't see any neighborhoods outside of Roppongi (where my apartment was situated), Shibuya (where I visited on my first day that I didn't work while in Tokyo, March 12th), and the Tokyo station area. I am disappointed that I didn't get to use the ticket to the ballet that I bought just minutes before I was told it was time to leave the country. I also regret that I wasn't able to get more work experience. But these things are trivial in light of my tremendous good fortune of finding myself safe and sound even as I was leaving Tokyo in a hurry. Countless others, as we have all seen in the news coverage, were not so lucky.

I am grateful for my safety and that of my co-workers. I am grateful for the opportunity to be out of harm's way. But I wish there was something else that I could have done (in addition to making a donation to the relief effort). Ultimately, I realize that the most helpful thing I could have done is exactly what I did: get out of town so no one need worry about where I was at and how I was managing. It also seems helpful that by leaving the country I have stopped consuming resources that the Japanese people truly need at this time.

Here's hoping that things start turning around quickly for Japan.

8.8 Tokyo Earthquake

2011-03-11T00:47:00.001-06:00

I just experienced the largest earthquake of my life (8.8!!!) from the 28th floor of our office building in Tokyo. I am okay, as is everyone in my office, but we can see fire(s) in Odaiba and people are concerned about their families at home. We had some strong aftershocks, but things seem to be calming down... cell network is jammed as everyone is trying to communicate with loved ones.

We had a 7.2 earthquake earlier this week. With any luck, this will be the last of it for a while.

Hopefully, there will not be need for further update, but if you'd like you can follow me on Twitter where updates will be more frequent.

First Week in Tokyo

2011-03-06T06:04:00.002-06:00

The time has passed so quickly, but most of it has been spent in the office. I billed more than 70 hours this week, but I can't say that it was particularly terrible. The weight of worry over the complete absence of billable work back home has been lifted off of my shoulders. Honestly, I feel far less stressed now than I did before I left for Japan.

There are appreciable differences in the attitude towards work between this and my home office, but I'm not sure I'm able to make a fair comparison since I haven't worked on a large transaction in my home office yet. I'll reserve judgment for now. What I can say is that this office is much like I've always imagined big city, big law firms to be. As someone who ruled out big city, big law firm life (in favor for a satellite office of a big law firm) before I even started recruiting, I am very happy to have the opportunity to test these waters on a short-term basis. In this first week my emotions have run the gamut. I've felt certain I could never keep up with this pace for months on end, but I've also felt myself wishing I could extend my stay here. More on this in future posts.

Setting work aside, I don't have much to talk about other than my apartment just yet (hoping to get out a little more in future weeks). There are some fun little quirks worth mentioning.

First, my apartment has heated wood floors. As someone whose temperature always runs cold (and has cold feet!), I adore this amenity.

Second, the toilet is a bidet, the seat is heated, and you can press a button to play a running water sound for modesty. This is the case here, at my apartment, and at my office.

Third, my apartment has a very deep (but short, in length) tub with a computerized heating system. Once you get the hot water started (somewhat challenging the first time, as the buttons have Japanese labels) there is a cover to pull over the tub to keep the water warm as the tub fills. When your bath is drawn, a woman's voice announces that your bath is ready (not sure exactly what is said because it's said in Japanese). This announcement is played over speakers in the bathroom and living area of the apartment. Once you're in the bath, the computerized system maintains the water at a constant temperature of your choosing. If you're someone who loves a long soak in the tub, this last feature is a real luxury.

Fourth, the kitchenette has a dedicated fish oven. Haven't tried this out yet, but hope to in time.

Fifth, there is an in-unit washer/dryer. It's not stacked, but a washer/dryer in one. Very space-efficient! I did my laundry for the first time last night (again, challenging because all of the buttons are labeled in Japanese) and everything turned out just fine. My favorite feature is that, after drying, the unit keeps your clothes warm until you remove them. (I know this because I forgot to take them out for a few hours after they were done). This is useful because it keeps wrinkles from setting into your clothes--a problem I frequently have at home.

In my next post, I'll write a little bit about taking the subway and the reaction to blonde, blue-eyed women in Tokyo (as compared to my experiences in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing, and India). I also want to write about the most frustrating aspect of my experience so far: my inability to read or speak Japanese. Despite the fact that little could be done to prepare given that I received just a couple of days notice of my assignment, I feel embarrassed and frustrated about my inability multiple times each day.

Please tell me if you have any Tokyo-related advice or suggestions as I would love to hear them.

Konnichiwa!

2011-02-26T07:07:00.000-06:00

Just a few hours ago, I arrived in Tokyo via Singapore Air.

After a decent amount of Pacific Rim travel in the last couple of years (China, Hong Kong, India, and New Zealand), I never thought I would arrive on this side of the Pacific feeling well-rested and ready to go the moment that I walked off the plane. The flight was incredibly comfortable and, relatedly, my first experience flying international in business class.

For transfer from Tokyo Narita airport to my apartment, I used the "limousine bus" (just a bus). My fare was 3,000 JPY. The bus ticket was easily purchased right outside of customs, the bus was clean, and the process was very efficient. The bus driver did not speak English (and I don't speak Japanese) but this was still manageable because of automated messages played over the bus speaker system in English.

My apartment is located in Roppongi. The apartment arrangements were made by the firm's local office administrator. I have a studio, which is small, but plenty of space for my taste. As someone who tends to feel cold all the time, the big thrill is that the apartment has a heated floor! I'll write more about some of the interesting quirks and the location after I've been here a few more days.

I'm reporting for work first thing tomorrow (Sunday) morning. This is welcome news for many reasons. Practically, I'm happy that my first attempt to navigate the Tokyo subway system will take place on a weekend. Professionally, I'm excited to get started!

As it's now about 10pm, I'm going to finish unpacking and attempt to get a good night's sleep--easier said than done since it is 7am back home.

Change of Venue

2011-02-24T00:29:00.002-06:00

In my first weeks on the job, the work was not coming to me. Doubt and worry ensued. But the tides have turned--literally sweeping me west, across the Pacific, to another office of the firm where an abundance of work (and experience!) awaits. Here's to a welcome adventure!

Little Raincloud Following Me

2011-02-17T02:17:00.003-06:00

It rained today. Not the big, fat Texas raindrops that I've become accustomed to, but skinny drops that freckled my light grey suit as I scurried into the office. And now that we've had our little rainstorm, if you can even call it that, I'm hoping the metaphorical raincloud that has been hanging over my head will be whisked away.

I tend to be slow to embrace major life changes, so instead of wasting more time worrying about why life-after-law-school hasn't instantaneously conformed to the fantasy I had in mind, I'll focus on other things in order to give life at the firm time to fall into place.

Other things like comfort food.

My new neighborhood doesn't hold a candle to Austin when it comes to eating out--especially casual dining. But this isn't bad as I've always want to spend more time learning how to cook all order of delicious things from scratch. Since I have the time and some spare change to spend on groceries, there is no time like the present to pull out my pots and pans (and my Cook's Illustrated app) and give it a go.

I started with a cream of tomato soup. I love Campbell's canned tomato soup, but Cook's Illustrated describes it as "cloyingly sweet, not unlike a cream of ketchup soup." Well then! If CI thought their recipe bested Campbell's, I would give it a try. As with most soup-from-scratch recipes, there were a lot of dishes involved, but I judged my effort victorious on multiple fronts. First, and very importantly, my blender behaved itself and did not propel scalding tomato puree all over my kitchen. Second, the roasted tomatoes and sauteed shallots filled my apartment with a delicious, homey smell. Third, the soup was excellent with a flavor that was much more interesting (complex, in a good way) than my usual bowl of Campbell's. Of course, the recipe produced more soup than one person could eat, so I now have frozen leftovers at the ready.

A few days later and with Valentine's Day just around the corner, I was in the mood to bake. I tried my hand at Tartine's morning buns (hat tip to the Baking Barrister). If you like cinnamon-sugary rolls (and, really, who doesn't?) this recipe is an easy win. (I should clarify that while it's an "easy win" for tastebuds, the recipe takes a fair amount of time and effort to prepare.)

Practically speaking, I should focus my efforts on cook-ahead, great-as-a-leftover recipes that I can whip up on the weekends and warm up on weeknights. Any recommendations?

What do you do for fun?

2011-02-11T01:01:00.002-06:00

This is a question that shouldn't give you pause. But when someone recently asked me what I do for fun, I felt like I couldn't give an honest answer. I could tell this person what I would like to do for fun, but I couldn't name an activity that I participate in regularly that has been making me happy or at least energized. Not a great feeling.

To be honest, I've spent most of my free time in the last couple of weeks worrying about losing my job or, alternatively, worrying that I should leave my job. There hasn't been any client-billable work. So one day I'm questioning how long the higher-ups can justify doling out my paycheck and the next day I'm wondering how long I should be willing to hang around without the opportunity to actually practice law.

This worry has been so overwhelming that I've felt nauseous for the past few weeks and all I want to do when I get home is sleep. Clearly, I'm consumed. I think this is a function of the student debt hanging over my head and the fact that I eliminated all of my other commitments/activities so that I could focus, really focus, on my job for this first year. It now looks like that was a mistake.

As a senior associate recently pointed out to me, this ebb and flow of work is the hallmark of this practice group at this particular office. I'm overwrought because my experience (so far) has been void of legitimate work, but--really--it's only been a few weeks. I need to give it a chance and, in the meanwhile, I should enjoy my free time while I have it. It's a good time to rediscover what I like to do for fun. And, you know, just do it.

Now that I'm making some money...

2011-02-06T22:43:00.003-06:00

After an unexpectedly fun weekend that included drinks after work on Friday and a movie and dinner on Saturday, I settled down to do my taxes this afternoon. My AGI, for the year in which I completed my last semester of law school, worked a part-time job, and received a bar exam stipend and two months of income stipend in connection with my deferral from my law firm job, was about $34,000. My taxable income was roughly $25,000, resulting in a effective federal tax rate of 3.76%. (I'm noting the numbers in case someone entering their last semester of law school is looking for some rough examples--I know had a hard time estimating my annual income when I was budgeting for the year last January.)

Assuming I manage to hold down my job, I will earn more income next year than I ever have. A significant chunk of this money will go to pay down debts that were accumulated during the years that I was a grad student. Other financial goals include bulking up my emergency fund to account for my monthly student loan payments, contributing to my 401(k) (sadly, my law firm does not offer a match), and saving for a down payment on a condo. The later goal is the only one that I'm not actively contributing to at this point in the year.

What I do know is that I make a great salary at my current job, but I don't want to take it for granted. Lots of folks last just two to three years at this type of firm, before moving into a job with a much more modest salary. With that in mind, I want to make significant progress towards my financial goals while I have the resources.

What I'm not so sure about, is just how much to grow my emergency fund before I shift my efforts towards aggressively paying down my debts. I'm also not sure of how much of my debt I should pay down before allowing myself to start diverting some income towards saving for a down payment. So, I was wondering, do any of you out there in the blogosphere have any suggestions? I would love to hear them.

Getting Here

2011-02-04T00:23:00.003-06:00

My firm first made me an offer in the fall of 2007. I took them up on it and spent the summer of 2008 lunching, swimming with dolphins, and doing some "work."

On the last day of the summer program, they invited me to come back and do it all over again. So I did, although things were much quieter thanks to Bear, Lehman, et al.

On the last day of the summer program, they invited me to return as an associate, but only if I managed to earn a minimum 3.5 gpa during my final year at the law school. I made some sacrifices, earned the grades, passed the bar exam, and made my way back to the firm to start as an associate.

I'm finally here. All in, the process took three years and three months from initial screening interview to first day as an associate. It's been a long process, y'all.

And I'm damn lucky to have this job. So many things had to go right for me to get here. And they did. For that I am thankful.

Last Names

2011-01-28T02:48:00.010-06:00

Corporette is running a thread on the topic of what a married or divorced women is to do for a last name. As a single woman, I wouldn't have thought the issue was so complicated . . . or contentious. Should a newly married woman take her husband's family name? Should a divorced woman revert to her own family name? To each her own, I say.

When I was in my early twenties, i.e., when I still thought I would walk down the aisle in a white gown to marry my high school sweetheart, I simply knew that I would take my husband-to-be's family name. It was simple, romantic, and what my own mother had done.

Just a few years later, I was less certain. I was dating a divorced man whose first wife had taken his family name, but ditched it after their divorce. Doesn't sound very romantic, does it? It wasn't practical either. She was a junior associate attorney at the time of the divorce and the name change caused confusion. But the hassle was short-lived and worthwhile. Without children in the picture, it's hard to imagine wanting to carry an ex-husband's family name for the rest of one's life.

Now, if I were to get married, I wouldn't change my name. I'm 30 and have established my own identity. I cannot see why I should abandon my family name any more than any future husband of mine should abandon his. Not to mention that changing my name doesn't seem romantic in the least--but what about marriage strikes me as romantic these days? Precious little.

There isn't a universal convention. Your name is an expression of identity. So if you want to signify your union by taking your partner's family name, do it. If you want to maintain a distinct identity and retain your family name, do it. If you want to ditch your ex's family name because it's an unpleasant reminder of the past, by all means, do it and don't apologize.

An Office and a Box of Business Cards

2011-01-20T22:40:00.003-06:00

Work started at the beginning of the month. By "work," I mean showing up at the office, training, and listening to a never-ending stream of recorded CLE presentations. I have an office and a box of business cards, but I haven't done anything that requires a J.D. or law license just yet. Heck, I haven't done anything that requires a paralegal certificate!

While I deeply appreciate my job, I will feel much better when I start earning my paycheck.

A New Place

2011-01-17T02:17:00.003-06:00

I have moved into my new apartment and started my job. This is a big and exciting thing in some respects. It's the culmination of so much effort and so many sacrifices. And, in many ways, I feel like my real, adult life is finally beginning.

The apartment isn't as great as the one I had in Austin. While I was the first person to live in my brand new apartment on 5th Street, I seem to be the last in a long line of abusive tenants to live in my current place. The apartment is beat up. There are chips and dents in every surface and there are problems with nearly all of the appliances--not to mention no heat for the first two weeks that I lived in the place! It's hard to downgrade your living space, especially when you're paying more for the "privilege," but I have a roof over my head (and in-unit washer/dryer and a <10 minute commute to the office) and for that I am grateful.

Suiting Up

2011-01-04T23:25:00.001-06:00

At long last, the first day of work! It was a slow day. We're working our way through the standard orientation schedule that I experienced during Big Firm Summers 2008 and 2009. Rumor has it that the practice of law begins tomorrow.

New Zealand

2010-12-23T04:27:00.003-06:00

Peaks and Beaches, South Island, New Zealand

I'm back from a couple of weeks tramping around the southern island of New Zealand. The place is just as beautiful as imagined (or as portrayed, for Lord of the Rings fans) and the hiking, cycling, and kayaking was as invigorating as I hoped. All went well and I think that treating myself to this trip was a great way to acknowledge passing the bar exam and my thirtieth birthday.

I flew Air New Zealand. My coach seat was comfortable enough for the ~12 hour flight. I departed LAX in the evening, ate dinner, and woke up with only an hour and a half of flight time remaining before arrival. The Air New Zealand staff was helpful and I appreciated the airline's sense of humor (click here to check out their rugby-themed safety video).

Clear and still waters make a perfect mirror

Once in New Zealand, I joined a group of eight other travelers, all strangers, for Active New Zealand's Rimu trip. I was reticent to join a group, but did so because I would otherwise have been traveling alone without adequate knowledge of the best places to get out and enjoy New Zealand's natural beauty. The group was an interesting bunch of Americans and Canadians ranging in age from late 20s to 60s and from a variety of professions.

For those who might be interested, here is a brief summary of my activities accompanied by a few pictures:

Snorkel with seals in Kaikoura. Thick wetsuits were provided and I wasn't the least bit cold. We snorkeled from a remote location and our group was alone with a colony of New Zealand fur seals. The water was a bit rough, but the snorkeling was not what I would consider vigorous--the greatest difficulty was passing through a shallow channel without colliding with some rocks. This was an opportunity to observe the seals, as there was little else of interest to see in the water except for the occasional jellyfish.

Wine tasting at Forrest vineyard in Marlbourough, where helicopters are sometimes used to distribute warm air from thermal pockets and ward off frost threatening the grapes.

Kayak in Queen Charlotte Sound. I spent three days here. The kayaking was fantastic--cool, misty weather and mostly flat conditions. We saw a lot of beautiful landscape and water thick with jellyfish that reminded me of a scene from Finding Nemo. We stayed at Lochmara Lodge, a quirky place with great grounds, excellent views, and modestly appointed rooms. The restaurant at the lodge provided some of the best food on the trip. I loved their french toast and was adventurous enough to try the local green-lipped mussels (mussels are not typically something I prefer).

New Zealand's green-lipped mussels

Hike in the Punakaki rainforest. Honestly, what I loved here was not the hike but the pebble beach (where I sat in the sun for an hour and saw only two other people), the cottage motel immediately on the beach, and the "pancake" rock formations.

Pancake Rocks, Punakaki

Kayak in Okarito. The kayaking here was not as remarkable as other at other spots on the trip. But watching the tide pull the water out of the lagoon to mix with the water at the beach at sunset was downright mesmerizing. (If you're planning your own trip, this is a place you shouldn't feel bad about skipping.)

Hike at Franz Josef Glacier. We saw the lateral moraines and terminal face of the glacier. I also thought it was interesting to get a good look at the roaring run-off from the glacier--it was a milky grey (full of sediment) with chunks of ice floating quickly past like over-sized ice cubes.

Sheep, a fixture of the NZ landscape

Cycle in Central Otago. I loved the first half of this ride, but I spent the second half thinking I should start attending spin classes on a regular basis--my legs were spent by the end of the day! The landscape in this area of NZ was still green, but the area is dryer and the terrain reminded me of parts of Northern California. Much unlike California, however, I didn't see another soul during the ride.

Explore Queenstown. I skipped some of the more extreme activities in Queenstown, but I heard great things about canyoning, jet boating, and bungy jumping from my trip-mates that took part. Instead, I took a low-key walk about town and took a cruise on a steamship (TSS Earnslaw) to Walter Peak High Country Farm, where I enjoyed watching dogs round up sheep as well as a shearing demonstration.

Walter Peak High Country Farm House

Kayak in Milford Sound (Fiordland National Park). This part of the trip started out unpleasant because the air was thick with sandflies, but the bugs thinned as we got underway. Milford Sound is a beautiful place that was recommended to me by all of my friends who have traveled to New Zealand. It seems that most people visit by way of rather large boats, but I thought the scale and drama of the fiords were better experienced from my wee kayak. We saw some thundering waterfalls, barking seals, and a pair of penguins waddling along the craggy edge of the sound!

Hike in Mt. Cook National Park. Mt. Cook is the highest peak in NZ and the clouds gave way for a little while in the afternoon so that we could get a good look at the mountain. The DOC center in the park was one of the more interesting ones that we stopped at during the trip.

Mt. Cook

By the end of the trip, I was ready to come home for some alone time, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to make my way to New Zealand, where there was so much fresh air, clean water, and time to think about what comes next....

Time to Fly

2010-12-03T03:16:00.001-06:00

When I planned my trip to New Zealand, it seemed like something that might never happen. So far in the future that I would hear my bar results first. And what if I failed? Would I cancel my trip? What if I later regret spending the money on the trip? What if the firm changed my start date? There were so many what ifs. But all the worry was for naught (when will I ever learn to stop wasting so much time on worry!?!).

I'm currently sitting on the floor of our family house in the desert. My suitcase is half packed and my day pack (a new one that I was lucky to receive as an early birthday present) is empty. The dogs aren't helping--every time I look away one of them snatches a sock or some other item from the suitcase and runs off with it. Naughty!

I don't plan to blog while I'm in New Zealand, mostly because I'll spend nearly the entire trip hiking, cycling, and kayaking off the beaten path. The plan is to keep a journal and snap as many photos as practically possible. Then, when I return on the 19th I'll upload a recap of my trip.

Here's hoping you all enjoy the holiday season while I am away. "See" you soon :)

My New "Home"

2010-12-02T00:11:00.000-06:00

Since leaving Austin last week, turning in my keys, and allowing the movers to put all of my worldly possessions into storage, I have been staying with family. And while not unusual (it was par for the course during grad school), it was unsettling not having a "home" to return to after the holiday weekend.

It's important for me to have a place of my own: a quiet, comfortable, and safe place where my inner introvert can recharge. And after four transitory years, I would like my place to have a sense of permanence. To unpack a box without knowing that I'll be repacking it in a year? Priceless.

But I'm not there yet.

Yesterday, I leased an apartment in Beach City. It's practical, but a step down from my Austin apartment (nonetheless I will pay more rent for this new apartment). I'll blog more about it when I move into the place in a few weeks. So, I'm still unsettled, but at least I'll have a roof over my head.

For that I am thankful.

Goodbye Austin

2010-11-28T03:59:00.002-06:00

I had many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. One of the many was access to a packing service that Law Firm provided as a part of my relocation package. This meant that a crew of three appeared at my apartment on Monday morning and had the whole place packed in just three hours, giving me the gift of time to enjoy my final days in Austin.

When I left California more than four years ago, plenty of people asked why I would want to move to such a backward place. I found Austin to be anything but. I hope that Texans can keep this gem of a city off of Californians' radar for as long as possible. Sure, high-rise condos have sprouted along Lady Bird Lake and bottle service has popped up all along 6th, but Austin has still got plenty of charm.

Sitting at ABIA waiting for my flight back to California, I wished with my whole heart that I could stay. As the setting for some of the most extraordinary events in my life to date--the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, Austin will always be a special place to me. I will miss my friends, the hike and bike trail, the local restaurants, the wide open spaces in the hill country, the affordable prices (it's all relative--Austin's still cheap from a Southern Californian perspective), and the university.

Find the Conclusion

2010-11-24T08:34:00.001-06:00

Last night, I taught my last LSAT prep class. Teaching this type of class wasn't just a distraction during my deferral: I've been slinging dry erase markers, drawing logic game diagrams, and contraposing since January 2003 (when I was still a wee undergrad). I have loved the job, but it's time to move on.

Bar Exam Results

2010-11-20T07:04:00.004-06:00

California bar exam results were released yesterday at 6pm (Pacific). The exam was administered at the end of July, so it has been a long wait for results. On the whole, the waiting wasn't so bad because I've been keeping busy. Busy worked, until yesterday.

Yesterday--results day! I expected to be nervous, but I didn't expect the persistent nausea. My nerves reached a fever pitch when, with 1 hour and 15 minutes left to wait for results, the Firm e-mailed to request that I relay my results to them as soon as I receive word. (Y'all, what is that about? Isn't the whole point of the staggered private/public release dates to give applicants a couple of days to come to terms with failure before talking to their firm about it?)

At this point, I decided to enjoy a peach margarita and fajitas at Matt's el Rancho. I had my file number and iPhone in my purse and expected to check my results while at the end of the meal. This plan almost worked. For whatever reason, I had thought my applicant number was my SSN. But when I tried to pull up my results list on my phone I saw that I had assumed incorrectly--the applicant number has only five digits! So I had to wait to get back to my apartment, pull my CA Bar paperwork, and shuffle through for my applicant number.

It took less than a minute to find the number and enter the information in the CA Bar website. After I submitted my data, the result returned instantaneously. This is the language the CA State Bar Examiners used to convey some of the best news I've ever heard:

"The name above appears on the pass list for the July 2010 California Bar Examination."

That's it. Well, that and some links to information about the swearing-in ceremonies and membership dues.

So how do I feel? Immensely relieved that I didn't fail. And fortunate.

How will I celebrate? That's what the trip to New Zealand is all about--well, that and turning 30!

New England in the Fall

2010-11-14T01:33:00.001-06:00

I don't know much about the change of seasons. (P2P grew up in Southern California after all!) But I had the chance to see the turning leaves in New England a few weeks ago when I visited Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts.

It was a memorable trip. Among other things, I visited the Yale campus for the first time and watched from the shore as the Head of the Charles regatta took place. My iPhone was lost and then found. It was an adventure all around!

Stanford Women's Alumnae Crew at HOCR

I have wanted to take a trip like this one for years and I'm thankful that the planets aligned so that it was finally possible.

PS: The getaway also helped me stop worrying about Bar Exam results . . . for a few days.

What a Treat!

2010-11-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, another of my close childhood friends delivered a baby boy. Seems like the childhood friends have produced their own fraternity of little ones at this point. (When is someone going to have a girl so I can wrap a gift in pink ribbon!?!) Visiting with all of the new arrivals--and their moms--is one of the things I'm most looking forward to when I return to California.

Would you . . .

2010-10-19T00:33:00.001-05:00

Drive a total of six hours to get your teeth cleaned?

I did.

And, yes, I know that sounds nutty.

I did it so that I could see my little brother in his element. You guys, people refer to him as "Dr." and "Sir!" My little brother. The same little brother who loved nothing more than Thundercats. The same little brother who spent an entire family vacation impersonating a velociraptor (thank you, Jurassic Park). In a blink of an eye he has gone from collecting rocks on the playground to polishing teeth. It's bewildering how fast the transformation seems to have happened.

It's unlikely that any of our other family members (who live thousands of miles away) will ever have the chance to make an appointment with his practice, so I am particularly thankful I had this opportunity. There was something very special about this day.

I had to head straight back to Austin to catch a flight to Boston, but next time I'm in Dallas I hope to have a chance to visit with some friends--and make good on long overdue plans to grab lunch with my favorite McCombs blogger :)

Ballet Austin: 2010-11 Season Opener

2010-10-13T11:09:00.000-05:00

A couple of weekends ago I went to Ballet Austin's season opening performance of Kai and Carmina Burana. Both pieces were choreographed by Stephen Mills, the Artistic Director of Ballet Austin.

Kai is a contemporary piece "based upon images of oceans and waves of a mysterious couple and a celebration." Although this piece was a part of the season opener, it's not new to Ballet Austin. Here are a few clips from an earlier performance of Kai:

Carmina Burana, the longer of the two pieces, was "inspired by the forbidden desires of 13th century monks." To be honest, the real highlight here wasn't the dancing but the iconic music. To Ballet Austin's credit, they included more than 100 vocal performers from choir Conspirare and the Austin symphony. I loved this element of the performance. Ballet Austin doesn't always include live music in its Long Center performances (which I learned the hard way when I attended Hamlet a couple of years ago), but it makes all the difference in the world when they do. Here is the trailer for Carmina Burana:

While I enjoy contemporary ballet, I found the technical execution lacking on this particular evening. It was distracting to someone with many years of training, but the mistakes were not so glaring as to be obvious to non-dancers. Having said that, it was opening night of the season and some glitches were to be expected.

I've only seen Ballet Austin perform in a contemporary format and I wonder whether the company is stronger with classical repertoire? My favorite contemporary company is NDT II because of the extraordinary technical expertise I had the chance to observe when they came to Stanford while I was an undergrad. Not only was I able to take in their performance from excellent seats in Mem Aud, but I also had the chance to take a Master Class--one of my great undergrad memories to be sure.

And while we're on the subject, I wanted to share the below clip from an Odyssey Dance Theater rehearsal that I have been enjoying recently. Great stuff!

UT v. UCLA

2010-10-05T02:19:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I snagged a seat at the UT v. UCLA football game at the Darrell K Royal Texas Memorial Stadium. I had a clear view of the field, the cheerleaders and pom squad, and the jumbotron (what more could a girl want?):

my view of the game

This is the second home game I've attended since moving to Austin in 2006. After so many years as a high school and college cheerleader and as a girlfriend of a rabid USC football fan post-college, I had attended more than my fair share of games by the time I became a Longhorn. I passed on student season tickets without giving it a second thought.

But not long ago I decided I wanted to catch one last game before packing my bags for San Diego. This particular game didn't turn out well for the Longhorns--much to the delight of my family of Bruin alumni. It was still a lot of fun to see the throngs of Longhorn fans come out in burnt orange and tailgate like pros.

Moral Character Determination: How Long Does it Take?

2010-10-01T07:56:00.000-05:00

I submitted my application to the State Bar of California in February, but due to some hiccups with documentation from the Texas DPS (the Lone Star state's version of the DMV) my application was not considered complete or filed until April 2, 2010. My moral character determination was made on September 23, 2013:

The Committee of Bar Examiners is pleased to advise you that you have been found to possess the good moral character required for certification to practice law in California.

I received this news in a letter dated September 24, 2010.

My advice to 3Ls? File your moral character determination sooner rather than later. Also, don't change your address on your driver's license while you're in the middle of submitting your moral character paperwork! Texas DPS took nearly two months to issue my new license. During that time my DPS audit number changed but was not issued to me, which prevented me from successfully requesting my driver's record (as required for the moral character application).

In any event, the moral character hurdle has been cleared!

Men in Tights

2010-09-23T23:48:00.003-05:00

Blogging has been sparse because it's all LSAT all the time around these parts. Lots of worried students means lots of one-on-one time, which means not as much me time.

The remedy: a great weekend filled with men in tights! Okay, on second thought, that might not sound as appealing as I intended.

I'm looking forward to the ballet and the UT v. UCLA football game nonetheless. Very excited to see some PAC-10 action here in Texas. The last time I saw a PAC-10 team take on Texas, I was a teenager cheering from the track at Stanford Stadium. A photographer captured my anticipation just moments before Stanford beat Texas (27 to 24):

This time I'll be cheering for Texas from the somewhere in the stands.

Congratulations to L

2010-09-20T14:15:00.002-05:00

It seems that every time I log on to Facebook, another friend is pregnant or delivering a baby. This weekend was no exception. L, a childhood friend who is near and dear to my heart, delivered her baby boy on Friday evening. I am so happy for her and her young family and can't wait to meet the little guy when I get out to California!

Milk + Honey

2010-09-19T01:36:00.002-05:00

In anticipation of the big move back to California at the end of November, I have been slowly sorting through my belongings--organizing, donating, and discarding as need be. I've been handsomely rewarded for my work with the discovery a Milk + Honey gift certificate long presumed lost!

Milk + Honey is an Austin day spa founded by a McCombs MBA alumna. The business started with one location in the 2nd Street district and has since added a hair salon a few doors down and another spa location at the Hill Country Galleria. While I've never been to the salon, I have visited both the downtown and Hill Country Galleria locations to recharge. (Generally, I prefer Milk + Honey's Hill Country Galleria location for its free parking lot. This location is also best for those seeking seclusion during a nail treatment--the downtown mani station is in the spa lobby while the pedi station is separated from the lobby by a thin curtain.)

This past week, I made the most of my rediscovered gift certificate with a visit to the downtown location for a Milk + Honey facial with Lauren. My skin, which has always given me a lot of trouble, started showing signs of distress during the bar exam that have persisted long after the exam-related stress disappeared. Since the treatment at M+H, my skin is showing signs of life again (kudos to Lauren!). I left M+H feeling relaxed and recharged.

I love to support Milk + Honey because of the excellent service and McCombs MBA connection. A M+H treatment was a pick-me-up after my first set of 1L finals, a gift from a loved boyfriend during my second year in Austin, an opportunity to decompress after a busy trip to China and Hong Kong, and a reward after completing my first half marathon. A special place tied to many of the significant events of my four-plus years in Austin, M+H will be missed when I head back to California.

Esther's Follies

2010-09-13T01:43:00.000-05:00

Better than expected.

I've lived in Austin for more than four years, but have never made my way to Esther's Follies. It seemed like an attraction for tourists and a bit expensive for what it is. But out-of-town guests have a way of getting me to Austin's tourist destinations.

My brother drove down from Dallas on Thursday evening to attend a professional conference on Friday and enjoy a weekend in Austin. One of his coworkers had recommended Esther's Follies, so I made reservations--the things we do for family ;) We made our way down to 6th Street and arrived at Esther's about 20 minutes in advance of it's start time. The show was not sold out but there were only a few open seats.

We laughed, but we also groaned (the magician's levitation trick was entertaining the first time, but when repeated with the kiddie pool prop and water feature it was plain awkward). The humor was adult and mostly political in nature with a focus on local Texas events. The show was performed in front of large ceiling to floor windows that look out onto 6th Street, so a lot of the fun had to do with the cast interacting with the action on the street.

I don't have plans to go back, but it was a great way to entertain an out of town guest--especially one that wanted to take in the crazy scene by walking up and down 6th Street after the show let out.

On the Verge of Reality

2010-09-09T00:19:00.002-05:00

It took more than a month to find a post-bar exam rhythm. I'm enjoying my free time with the knowledge that I'll look back on this deferral period with envy in years to come. No husband, no kids, no (full time) job--just me to worry about.

Yesterday, my relatively careless existence was interrupted with a reminder that reality is just around the corner.

Summer Firm (soon to be The Firm) has staggered start dates this year. The litigators are starting at the beginning of October. They're already home from their bar trips and apartment hunting in Beach Town. And The Firm is getting ready to convene the minions for a pan-firm training event.

Meanwhile, I'm just now planning my bar trip. You see, the new additions to corporate and patent prosecution won't start until January. But it turns out I'll be dusting off my suit a little earlier than I thought for said training event in November--a helpful reminder that I'll be working soon enough and that I should soak up every moment of free time.

Blanton Museum of Art

2010-09-05T20:07:00.006-05:00

Today I visited the Blanton Museum of Art for the first time. The Blanton is located on the corner of MLK Boulevard and Congress Ave., right across for the Texas State History Museum. General admission is $9 (students may enter free).

You can view the collection in as few as one to two hours, depending on how long you like to soak up a work. While there is a lounge for children, I would not recommend the Blanton for families with young ones (the Texas State History Museum, on the other hand, is kid friendly). Sketching is permitted.

Visiting the Blanton prompted me to remember my frequent visits to the Cantor Arts Center during my years as an undergrad. Cantor was a quiet space where many of my art history and studio art professors held class. I loved to sit in the outdoor statute garden and sketch the Rodin sculptures. It's too bad I didn't find similar sanctuary at the Blanton. Better late than never I suppose!

I plan to head back to the Blanton on or after October 2nd, when a special exhibition of Impressionist works from the Walters Art Museum will open. I love the Impressionist period, so this will be a special treat. (My favorite movement is Northern Renaissance--will never forget the disappointment when the Northern Renaissance gallery was closed on the day of my visit to the National Gallery of Art--will have to head back one day.)

New Kid on the Block*

2010-09-03T02:00:00.006-05:00

Have you heard of Knewton? I hadn't, until their ads started appearing all over YouTube. And because I earn a paycheck teaching LSAT and GMAT classes, I thought I better check out the competition.

Coincidentally, Knewton contacted me the very next day. Turns out the good people at Knewton are giving away a free GMAT and a free LSAT course as a part of a back-to-school giveaway (the JD/MBA in me is tickled that there is an opportunity for both prospective law and business school students). Enter here before the September 10th, 2:14EDT deadline.

At this point, I don't know a ton about Knewton, but I know there are many of you out there that don't have the money for a prep course, but are too busy, too nervous or too lazy to do the kind of self-prep needed to optimize your score. Enter Knewton's sweepstakes. What have you got to lose?

Here are the basic marketing points for the Knewton GMAT course (as provided by Knewton, not yours truly):

Live and interactive web-based classes
One-on-one attention from world-class GMAT instructors
5 full-length CATs created by the architects of the actual GMAT
Live office hours and 24/7 academic support from GMAT experts
Hundreds of concept videos
Flexible 1-year membership
Guaranteed 50-point score increase
Price Tag: $690 (Get the course for $590 by clicking here.)

And the data points for the Knewton LSAT course (in Knewton's language, not mine):

Live and interactive web-based classes
One-on-one attention from world-class LSAT instructors
All 60 LSAT PrepTests
Live office hours and 24/7 academic support from LSAT experts
6,000+ explanations and sketches
Flexible 1-year membership
Guaranteed 5-point score increase
Price Tag: $890 (Get the course for $790 by clicking here.)

Frankly, I don't find these data points compelling. I'm aware of other competitors offering comperable services for lower prices and with better guarantees. (There is a lower marginal costs associated with "live and interactive web-based classes" and the market price of enrollment in these classes has recently taken a dive). What I do find compelling, at least at first glance, is their human capital. They've got a LSAC alumnus working on their leadership team and a small but elite teaching core. They also seem to be making the most of some great technological resources. But we can't depend on the website to tell the whole story.

Knewton has been kind enough to offer me the opportunity to "walk through" their materials and report back to y'all in the near future. I look forward to it!

Now go enter their sweepstakes for a chance to win a free course.

*Despite that I hadn't heard of Knewton until just a few days ago, the company was founded in 2008.

Power Grid Getting Me Down

2010-09-03T00:37:00.001-05:00

On Tuesday night, the power to my building cut out in the middle of my online class, killing my internet connection. I raced to the office while my TA covered for me. Thanks to my awesome teammate, the disruption wasn't much of a disruption. A student can forgive when that type of thing happens once.

But how about twice?

Against all odds, tonight's electrical storm created an ill-timed surge that required me to reboot my modem in the middle of class. Again, TA saved the day, but this situation is ridiculous! The students aren't losing teaching time because the TA picks up where I leave off, but it's unprofessional. And it's bound to irritate students. And my job security depends entirely on student feedback.

What can I do to solve this problem? Complaining to Austin Energy and my complex managers isn't likely to guarantee a change. I'm thinking a battery back up is in order. Do you have a battery back up system? What brand? Would you recommend it?

Alternate solutions also welcome :)

Recently Graduated and Missing UT?

2010-09-02T10:57:00.004-05:00

Here is a little something just for you:

Budgeting for the Deferred

2010-09-01T23:32:00.004-05:00

When you graduate in May, take the bar exam in July, but don't start working as a lawyer until January, a budget is in order. But it's hard to establish a budget, if you haven't tracked your expenses for at least a few months. It's also hard to estimate just how much you'll be able to cut back when needed. And it's nearly impossible to know how much you might make at your part time job.

So I began by trying to minimize all discretionary spending for the month of August and hoped for the best. Here are my numbers:

EXPENSES
Gas	$ -
Electric	$ (64.28)
Cable	$ -
H20/Trash	$ (40.47)
Cell Phone	$ (119.84)
Rent	$(1,645.43)
Car Insurance	$ -
Health Insurance	$ -
Credit Card	$ (59.05)

INCOME
Part-Time Post-Tax Income	$ 1,829.44

MONTH END	$ (99.63)

After my first full-month of deferred status post bar exam, I made an immediate change:

Cell Phone Plan. I have an iPhone with a rate plan that is a step up from the bare minimum. I signed up for a phone number with Gmail and have been using Google voice for daytime calls, so I was able to scale back my cell phone plan to the minimum number of minutes (+ data, of course). I contemplated ditching my iPhone entirely, but I rely on it for GPS, which I need in the short term.

As you can see, my rent is absolutely killing me. I live in a complex managed by a large corporation and am currently suffering the consequence of an outrageous month-to-month penalty. This could have been avoided by moving in May, but I couldn't stomach the idea of moving right after finals and before the bar exam. I am now paying dearly.

In future months, I will have some additional expenses. My insurance (health and auto) was pre-paid, but I will have payments on both policies coming due during my deferral period. I will also have a high speed internet bill--a service my part-time employer required that I add in order to continue work. Finally, I am unclear on whether I'll be able to keep the "credit card" expense down (this is the amount I spent on groceries and Netflix for the month).

Despite my regrets regarding my rent amount, I am satisfied with this outcome. The ~$100 of expense in excess of income was pulled from what remains of my bar stipend.

Teaching Online

2010-09-01T00:04:00.003-05:00

Usually, when I finishing teaching a class, I'm energized. Excited by the "ah ha" moments that my students have experienced, challenged by a new question, or humbled by a new insight a student has offered. It's because of this that I continued to teach while I was a 1L and found myself explaining a question at 10:00 the night before my own 8am law school final.

But stick my behind a computer with a tablet and a webcam and I leave class deflated and discouraged. Perhaps it's because online teaching is still new to me. But working with unreliable tools and in a medium that keeps me from looking a student in the eye to determine whether they've understood . . . I feel and am ineffective.

And then, tonight, my building lost power and I lost my internet connection ten minutes into class.

I hope these are just growing pains.

Town Lake with a Canoe

2010-08-28T22:52:00.006-05:00

Today someone near and dear to my heart and I made our way down to Zilker. We were hoping to rent a kayak, but ended up with a canoe. This was my fault--we got a late start because I was tied up at work--but a canoe served us just as well as a kayak would have.

We paddled up to Red Bud Isle Park where we stopped and walked around (lots of dog watching to be had here!). On the way back to Zilker we were able to paddle in the shade and the water was nice and calm. It was so cool to see the turtles and fish darting around in the water. I couldn't have asked for better company and I was really able to enjoy the afternoon. What a welcome change not to be worried about rushing off to work or school!

After returning the canoe we had dinner with margaritas at Shady Grove. It was a quintessentially Austin type of day. I can't believe it took four years of living in this town for this day to happen, but it was worth the wait!

Little B

2010-08-27T23:01:00.007-05:00

Here's my other little pup, mid-yawn, enjoying some afternoon sun.

And, yes, she had her outrageously long nails clipped immediately after this photo was taken.

Does your instructor's LSAT score matter?

2010-08-27T01:30:00.006-05:00

If you prepared for the LSAT with a test prep company, did your instructor's LSAT score play a role in your decision to enroll in their course? I've worked at a few different test prep companies, and they took different positions on the importance of teacher test scores.

On one hand, I worked at a company that swore its teachers to secrecy. We were not allowed to disclose our score to students, even if asked. This company put teachers at the front of the classroom who had not even taken a real LSAT. Some of the teachers were primarily GRE or GMAT instructors who had been selected for "cross training" and had received passable scores on a practice test that they took at home. The idea, at this company, was that a talent for teaching was all that mattered. Cynically, I believe this policy was a result of the fact that the company simply didn't have access to enough LSAT instructors with 99th percentile scores because competitors were hiring us away by paying us higher wages (this is how I came to leave the company).

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I worked at a company that required proof of a 99th percentile LSAT score before they would consider you for an interview. This company featured their LSAT instructors' 99th percentile scores prominently in marketing materials. The idea was that you only deserved to be at the front of the classroom if you had exhibited both a talent for teaching and a talent for taking the test under real test conditions. The smaller size of this company, along with its willingness to pay top of the market wages, enabled it to be selective.

I've also worked at a company that fell somewhere in between these extremes. At this company, the official policy was that we weren't to disclose our LSAT scores. However, the company published my likeness along with my LSAT score in marketing materials and online course materials. Basically, the company wanted to "show off" my 99th percentile test score in one setting, but asked me to deliver the party line in others: "all teachers that work for [COMPANY] have score in the 90th percentile or above on the real LSAT."

In my experience, a student asks for my LSAT score when they are questioning my competency (this usually happens before or during the first class session). Perhaps I'm too prideful, but I like to be able to assure that student by sharing my score. I dislike it when I'm bound to tell the student that "all teachers that work for [COMPANY] have score in the 90th percentile or above on the real LSAT" because it implies that I have a lower score and I feel like some students lose confidence.

Here's the thing. I think that some prospective LSAT students want a teacher with a top notch LSAT score. When I worked at the company that used the LSAT scores of it's teachers and former students as its primary marketing message, we attracted a certain type of student: driven, hardcore, and ambitious. This type of student gains confidence from their teachers ability to score well on the test.

But there are also students who prefer a teacher who struggled on the LSAT--thinking that a teacher who has struggled will be more empathetic or better able to explain a complex idea in simple terms. It's true that there are folks out there with 99th percentile scores who lack the patience or ability to break their thought processes into manageable pieces. But that doesn't mean that it's necessary for a teacher to have struggled with the LSAT to possess this ability (or empathy, for that matter). Regardless of what I think, there are students who take the teacher-who-has-struggled-is-a-better-teacher position.

Is sensitivity to this issue the reason that some of us are asked to keep our scores hush hush? Or is it just because the larger companies can't find enough 99th percentile teachers and don't want to deal with the fallout of students knowing that one teacher has a lower score than another. Finally, does it matter? If you're a prospective law student, does your teacher's score matter to you? If you took a prep course, did it influence your enrollment decision? I'm far too deep into test prep to have real perspective on the student p.o.v. on this issue, and I would love to know what you think.

My opinion is that if it matters to a student, he or she should have access to my LSAT score.

Planning my Trip to NZ

2010-08-25T00:24:00.005-05:00

With the excitement of compiling my 30 by 30 still in the air, I decided to tackle the most outrageous item on the list: New Zealand! The trip is quickly becoming a reality: I purchased airfare today and I depart in about 100 days.

Here's a taste of what I'm planning to do:

Arrive in Christchurch by way of Auckland on New Zealand Air
Kaikoura: check out the NZ fur seals (hiking/snorkeling)
Blenheim: visit the Marlborough wine region
Marlborough Sound: kayaking
Punakaiki Rainforest: hiking
Okarito Lagoon: hiking/kayaking
Franz Josef Glacier: hiking
Hawea Trail: cycling
Queenstown: ??? (need suggestions)
Routeburn Track: hiking
Milford Sound: kayaking
Visit a sheep farm
Mt. Cook National Park: hiking

In the next few weeks there will be much pinching of pennies, but there will also be a lot of excitement and anticipation! I'll post more about my plans in the upcoming weeks.

Setting Her Own Course

2010-08-21T00:33:00.013-05:00

While a grad student, I often justified the way I spent my time by saying that "I had to." I had to stay up night to finish an assignment. I had to skip family Thanksgiving to study for final exams. I had to do whatever it would take to graduate, on time, with a gpa that would satisfy The Firm. Well, all that had to single-mindedness got me somewhere. But now that I have my JD and MBA I can see that doing what I had to was a survival strategy, not the way I want to keep on living.

Sure, there will always be things that I have to do. But if I can make a change, if I can stop seeing myself as a person who is constrained by long-term goals and instead set my own course to include a satisfying short-term, I am bound to be more happy and more successful.

How do I go about setting my own course? It's simple: I need to create a list of goals/wants. And while it seems so simple, I am finding this hard to do. First, it is hard because--for so long--the JD/MBA was the only goal that I actively worked toward. Second, it is hard because I seem to have accepted (I'm not sure when) that my life would not include certain things that I want (badly!).

A creature of habit, I began in precisely the wrong way. I opened an Excel workbook and created a financial model of my life from the present up until the month of my 50th birthday. I found my evening with my Excel workbook to be a pretty darn emotional look at the long-term. The process got me thinking about my big goals: family, health, savings, home ownership, and travel. But the process also showed me that even in what I consider my personal worst-case scenario, it will be possible to stay afloat. This, in turn, helped alleviate some of the negative feeling I've been harboring about the future. It also assured me that not every decision has to be about the big, long-term goals.

Now that I've considered my future on the macro level, I want to give some thought to what I hope to accomplish in the near term. Because I will turn thirty at the end of 2010, I thought it appropriate to create a list of thirty goals that I would like to accomplish by the end of my thirtieth year. These goals are neither long-term nor financial. They are short-term goals that I hope will help me have some fun. I hope that they will help me reach the end of my 30th year with a feeling that I am closer to living the life I want on a day to day basis, not just doing what I have to sake of long-term goals.

Go to the Blanton for the first time
Visit Milk+Honey (use gift certificate)
Kayak on Town Lake
Photograph my favorite spots in Austin
Make China, India, and Austin photo books
Become a patient of my brother, the DDS
Start and finish a painting
Teach pups to do a trick other than "sit"
Forge a new friendship
Travel to New Zealand
Go to a concert of my own (not a bf's) choosing
Go to the ballet, do some ballet
Return to state park for a hike
Return to my old beach spot & eat favorite taquitos for lunch
Find new home
Move to Beach Town
Visit my recipients
Start my Career
Write and publish an article
Run my 2nd half marathon
Return to the slopes to ski for the first time in many years
Arrange a photographer for family photo when we're all home for the holidays
Repair my bicycle, hit the trails in Beach Town
Visit with Stanford friends
Meet my best friend V's new baby and best friend L's new baby
Visit cousin at grad school
Visit family in Pacific Northwest
Attend a college sporting event
Attend a professional sporting event
Read twelve books

How I Got my Bar Prep Course for Free

2010-08-16T17:00:00.003-05:00

When I was a 1L, we were advised not to concern ourselves with putting a deposit down on a prep course: "don't worry, your firm will pay for your bar prep class." That was the fall of 2006, when big law firms were still reaching deep into the class at UT--hiring students with below-median grades.

Just a few years later, graduates are far more likely to find themselves paying for their own bar prep course. How much are they paying? It depends. The program you choose is a huge variable. The state you're testing in is also a factor. But I'll stick to what I know for the purposes of this post: if you're prepping for the California bar exam with Barbri or KaplanPMBR, you're paying $3,500+ for tuition.

Some law students minimize their bar prep expenses by choosing smaller bar prep companies. But the risk averse, who find comfort in following in the footsteps of those who passed before them, feel compelled to prep with the big players.

If you're prepping with Barbri or KaplanPMBR, you can minimize costs by making a course deposit as a 1L. Payment of a deposit locks in the cost of your course and protects you as prices inevitably increase while you're toiling away in the law library for three years.

Those of you looking to eliminate this budget item entirely can get your course for free by signing up as student rep.

What do student reps do? Student reps attend a few meetings with the bar prep company regional rep, appear at a few promotional events (tabling, free lunches, sponsored Thursday night bar review), and sign their friends up for the course. It's not at all strenuous. Because my JD/MBA schedule kept me away from the law school often, I earned my free course by proctoring instead of signing up friends. Proctoring involves unlocking the bar prep classroom, setting up the projector and screen, playing the bar prep lecture DVD, taking attendance, and shipping extra supplies back to the company at the end of the course. Again, not strenuous.

Why would someone with an offer from a big law firm and a bar stipend want to get a free course? It depends. How confident are you that your offer will turn into a job? How is your bar stipend structured? More than a couple of big firms rescinded offers this year and I wasn't confident that the law firm that had given me an offer would still be around to foot my bar exam prep course come graduation. Add that to the fact that my law firm cuts a lump sum bar stipend check instead of reimbursing the cost of the course, and signing up as a student rep was a no brainer. I am thankful to be able to use money that would have otherwise been spent on a bar prep course to pay for living expenses, especially since I won't be starting work until January.

Tech Meltdown

2010-08-14T01:18:00.004-05:00

Recently, my iPhone 3G decided that it isn't important for me to hear the person on the other end of a phone call. I can very faintly hear that there's someone on the line, but the caller isn't intelligible. I definitely can't make out what they're saying. Strangely (or maybe not so strangely to those who understand the iPhone's design better than I), ringtones and text message alerts are still emitted at normal volume.

This has gone on for a while and it looks like time won't heal my iPhone 3G's wound. I'm going to do a little more digging... I mean Googling. In the meanwhile, I wanted to ask: have any of you a similar problem?

And, because I'm having one of those weeks, I spilled water on my new MacBook tonight. It's likely time won't heal that wound either.

To end on a positive note: I'm damn glad I held on to my trusty old Dell laptop. I've survived a year without television, a week without a telephone, but I'm not sure I can go a day without a computer.